A Question of Truth

Is eating sawdust a good idea? I wonder if anyone can come up with a better suggestion.

Talking To My Computer

My computer is very friendly and seems to enjoy the conversation, always signing off with a cheery word. However its repertoire seems to be very limited.

It is very concerned about my feelings. It never switches itself off, never gets restless. It even seems to understand me, in a way.

But the interaction is missing. I think it's the programming. I need more.

Who am I?

I look complete but I am empty inside.

I may seem perfect from the outside but I am not even at the beginning of progress.

I contain elements of love, and may even be taken to be love in entirety, but I contain the seeds of resistance and rebellion and am almost completely in error.

I may seem to contain moral judgment but also a complete negative.

I am the subject of a quest but discarded as worthless.

Brookside Rules OK

I know u of old, I have played in your branches U R OAK.

I have sheltered from the storm while u wave importently at the elements.

I have dug at your roots and exposed u, u have no secrets from me. And I have felt your warmth, the heart that lies beating within. That others do not c, will not c. U will go on even if your limbs are cut down.





I do not no u for I can never no u. U dance happily away before I can grasp u, u are never the same. I have splashed in u and laffed in u but I cannot caress u, u are gone. And u can sweep me away. U are cold sometimes and dry sometimes but u come back to life in a torrential heartbeat.


The tree is cut down and I ride in its bark to the c.

Broken Down Angel - Nazareth

There was a rumour that today there would be a fairy on the streets of Bristol. Sadly it turned out to be only that.

I do believe in fairies, I do, I do. Why can't I see any?

Love Me Two Times - The Doors

When you hear the same sermon preached twice in four days by two different preachers, it gives you pause to think, doesn't it? Particularly with an introductory sermon in the previous week. Somebody is telling me something and they want to be sure I hear it.

Handle With Care - The Travelling Wilburys

A very dangerous envelope arrived here today. Inside it (and I have checked, just in case) are the papers which are required to apply to be a presbyter in the Church. These are clearly weapons of life destruction and must not ever be used. I'll just go and put them in a safe place ....

A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles

I've been working like a dog. And don't say it keeps me out of mischief, for it doesn't.

Regrets - The Eurythmics

If I have just won the lottery, why does it feel like I threw my ticket away?

Follow You, Follow Me - Genesis

First day of my extra, self-imposed and unregulated placement. The speaker this morning challenged us this morning to get more involved with local schools and the preacher this evening asked us if we'd won the lottery and said he had. Talk about mixed messages. I wonder what happened at Shortwood. But I think I know which path to resist (or be more creative about ...) and which to go for. Wully, Tim and Mary all seem sure - but do they know all the facts?

Dreams of Children - The Jam

Apparently the Wild children were playing "What animal would you be ... ?" with people they know.

So this is me.

Now explain that if you can ....

Stuck in the Middle With You - Stealer's Wheel

I was most grateful to Richard - see links - for his link to mine. I'm just a bit curious about the positioning. He has blogs characterised as eg "Diggers and Dreamers", but I am in "Middle Ground". Now that could be a compliment - but I wonder if he considers me/this a bit too staid, traditional, .... the b-word would be next. I think "Cutting Edge" would be a bit far, but .... (drifts off wistfully).

Still at least due to an accident of naming I am currently first on the list I am on. Mustn't grumble. No, hang on, that's wrong .....

Respectable - The Rolling Stones

You don't half get some stuff on the telly these days.

Some people say there's too much sex on the telly. That's because they keep falling off. Boom-boom.

Anyway, there's a programme on Channel 5 called Respectable. It's a sitcom set, well, in and around a brothel. I'm sure some people think it shouldn't be on. Probably still more think I shouldn't be watching it. But hey, we do.

When people have complained there's too much sex on the telly then I have wondered where they have found it. They must know something I don't. But anyway, why not? We have programmes about all sorts of things. We've had comedies about the war (Dad's Army, Allo' Allo'), about petty criminals (Minder), and I think about funeral directors (didn't watch them, were they comedies?). We can laugh about sex, too surely. Actually after all the variations on My Family, Respectable is a truly brilliant concept. And it's funny.

And it's educational (I think) - and it's got a clear moral message.

I do hope a second series is in production.

Games Without Frontiers - Peter Gabriel

A wonderful day at the Season 3 draft yesterday. A dispersed networked community gathers together to share its passion - and those who are can't be there are represented, not only in spirit and thought of but important decisions made carefully on their behalf by their rivals, and in Gerard's case make long transatlantic phone calls at ungodly hours to be part of the occasion. He even gets his picture taken by proxy.

There were welcomes to the community; most of those there I had not met before. There were friendships renewed. There were plaudits. There were jokes. There was serious business. There was chat. There was creativity. There was time for games. I saw no tears but we share each others' misery when the star player turns up for pre-season training with a busted knee and a heart murmur. Above all, there was fun and laughter.

There were no arguments, no discord, no tensions at all. Different characters, different viewpoints aired and shared, discussed and respected.

I can only describe it as a foretaste of heaven.

Nothing Happened Today - The Boomtown Rats

Well obviously not true at all. But nothing that inspires me creatively. Enjoyed simple liturgical communion yesterday!

You've Got My Number - The Undertones

And the results are in. Scores on the doors: 61 and 63.

Damn. I suppose I'll have to go on.

The Professional Non-professional?

Twist In My Sobriety - Tanita Tikaram

"Tradition is not precedent."

Thanks, Mervyn.

Hard Habit To Break - Chicago

This could also have been titled:

Jealous Guy - John Lennon
Power - Rainbow
Speak to Me - Pink Floyd
Anarchy in the UK - The Sex Pistols

and no doubt I'll think of more.

It's hard though. This might be the crucial test.

Do You Want To Know A Secret? - Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas

Too bad.

Call Me - Blondie

Isaiah 50; the suffering servant is called to speak out. But also to be alongside those who need it. To make a difference. This requires discernment and guidance. So the worship tonight will make a contribution. The Bear of Very Little Brain needs it to be made crystal clear, though. No subtle hints. Tell it straight and loud.

Who Are You? - The Who

There's a popular interview question "pick five words to describe yourself". I've had a go. But I'm not ready to absolutely reveal them just yet. Instead I'll give you the initial letters. They are, in no particular order bar the last one:

P A C I F

The first four are adjectives and the last one is a noun and the title of a pop song.

There are other sets too I think, so this may be the first of a series.

Post title: I read some blog awhile ago in which every post title was the name of a (pop) song, so I thought I might have a go for a bit (maybe a fortnight). Whether I can keep it up we'll see - might be a bit restricting - might fit post to title rather than other way round. The other blog was a bit irregular. Hey it's fun to play.

Motorcyclin'

Affordable housing

The cry goes up again "Don't get into debt!" and "We must have more affordable housing". But it doesn't happen.

What is affordable? Affordable to me is cheap to other people. So I can't buy it anyway because they can come in and outbid me; then the prices keep moving up and we get into a spiral - if the value of your house goes up then you can spend more when you move, making the chance to buy worse for those without a house.

Affordable to me is out of reach to others. What do they do?

Who wants affordable housing?
Builders don't. There's not so much profit to be made - the extra time spent in building a bigger house, selling it etc is far outweighed by the extra money made. Efficiency of scale.
Estate agents don't. They are on commission. The higher the price the more they make for the same amount of work. They are heavily incentivised to raise prices.
Mortgage lenders don't. They want to lend as much as possible. Keeps the shareholders happy. They don't want small borrowers, they want large ones. These are the ones they look after. The Carling advert is not far off the mark.
We don't. We want to live in nice houses. Because we've seen them and likely been brought up in them. We don't want a two-up two-down, we want a spare room. We want a nice garden for the kids with room for a shed. We want a garage (probably a double). We want a playroom for the snooker table. We are aspirational. And we want it now, unlike previous generations.
The government doesn't. It doesn't stimulate the economy. And they certainly don't want it in the areas they live in. (Who does? No-one. We think they are the wrong sort.)
The only people who really want affordable housing are those who are so badly off they'll take anything. And they can't afford even affordable houses. And they have no power to affect anything or anyone. They are not preferred customers. They have no voice.

Ruth is stranger than Richard

What is Ruth?
Ruth will pout. Ruth is out there.
I will tell Ruth, and nobody but Ruth.
You shall know Ruth and Ruth shall set you free.
Ruth and Justin, the American way.

And if you believe Pat, you'll believe Antony. Ali can go round the world while Ruth is putting her boots on.

Love is Lisa.

Don't you tell it to Therese for she will tell the Birds and the Beasleys.

What mood are you in?

Well there you go. I played "Everyone's Gone to the Moon" to evoke a mood, but when I asked what it evoked, expecting the answers loss, loneliness, alienation the answer was "joy". And I could see the point. Serves me right for asking a question to which I expected a particular answer.

However they did enjoy "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" so that worked.

How many sermons can you write?

I've been asking ministers in Circuit how many (different ones) they do in a quarter. Popular answer seems to be between nine and twelve.

Blimey. I'm doing well to do six. I shall have to get cracking.

Speeding fines

Now let's see if I can stir it up.

I saw a headline in the paper on the stand the other day "Speeding Fines on the M1 raise £1.2m" (may not be exact but that's what it came to).

I didn't read the article but I imagine (advance apologies to the reporter if I'm wrong) that this was considered to be A Bad Thing - given the vitriol there's been on Points West about fundraising from "the poor motorist" that's what I expect.

I don't agree.

First of all let's be clear. We are not talking about people accidentally accelerating a little too hard and doing 71 mph, or even briefly doing 75ish while overtaking. We are talking about people wilfully doing 80mph and more. Beetling down the overtaking lane (remember its correct title - it is not a "fast" lane) like it's their own private racetrack because they're the most important people in the world and they haven't given themselves enough time.

This is a criminal offence. It is dangerous. We need to stop it and them. Particularly those who flash their headlights at me when I am overtaking at 75 (holding them up?), and then when I refuse to move over, try to undertake me (double meaning possible) in the middle lane and fly through the closing gap between me and the other car - and yes I've had this happen and seen it happen to others, don't deny it.

I hope the fines next year do not amount to £1.2m. I hope they are zero. In the meantime, until people learn to drive with consideration for others, I support the speed cameras. They may save a life. They may at least help to provide the money to police the roads until they are safer.

(I bet some people complain about the price of petrol. Slow down a bit and see how much you can save.)

When shall we have the sermon?

Discussing with George when it began to be the "tradition" to have the sermon in the middle of the service, rather than the end (climax).

I think I've found it. Richard Jones' book Groundwork of Worship and Preaching, 1980. It's on my bookshelf because it was my set text when I was training. It lays out magisterially that the service should be in three parts "and the sermon of course relates to the second section" (my italics). No argument allowed.

So like the Oxford University Press on Balderdash and Piffle, I throw out a challenge - can anyone find an earlier occurrence?

In a way it's nice to know that at one time I was at the cutting edge of Methodist practical theology. Just a pity that I now have to tear it down and remake it. Why? That's another post.

Meetings

How does he do it?

Circuit Meeting all done and chairs being put away by 9.00

Local Preachers' Meeting finished at 8.35. I think that's a record.

It's a gift.

Where's my glasses?

Now I have:

New reading glasses
Old reading glasses (still fine)
Reading sunglasses
Driving/General sunglasses
Dark sunglasses

I'm not quite up to the record set by my mother but I'm getting there. I am never going to keep track of this lot.

Discipline and Freedom

There is joy in creation.
The act.
The impulse of inspiration.
Responding to the muse.
The result may be ephemeral, necessarily or voluntarily.
It need not be shared, for God sees it. Or it may be global. Provocative.
Comforting.
Weird.
It may be lost. Never rediscovered. Yet it was. It existed.

It can be free. And freeing. It may be the ultimate freedom.

Can it be programmed? Done to order?
Is it the same when it is required? How will the space be filled?
Is it still so joyful when the weight of expectation hangs like a sword over your neck? When the clock ticks, and ticks, and the alarm is set and cannot be delayed? And will chime every hour until eternity? There is no time!
When the heart races: is it good enough? enriching?
Will the weird be acceptable? The discomforting appropriate? The unconventional understood? The straightforward rich enough? The fun caught?

Places I would like to go but never will

The Burning Man festival in America (in the desert).

Monsters of Rock (don't mind being deafened don't like getting wet and muddy).

Monte Carlo.

An igloo.

Who's reading all this anyway?

The other thing about the bloggers programme on Radio 4 was how many people read them. The two ladies on this week knew from comments that hundreds of people were reading (and the one who blogged about the Underground got thousands on July 7) - and these are just personal blogs, not about deep issues. La Petite Anglaise I first heard of on Ceefax. Whereas those who read this one are numbered in ... er, units.

Now this blog wasn't intended originally for a wider audience - and isn't listed so it's not likely to get one - but the idea was that it's more than a personal diary (I can't keep a personal diary, I've tried, if what's written isn't in some sense for public view I mostly can't be bothered to do it) so should I widen it? I've resisted putting it on eg locustsandhoney (Methodist) because you aren't allowed on there unless you put five other members on your blogroll (from whom I don't know anybody) and I'm deliberately trying to keep the links section short and tidy partly as a mark of quality and also that long lists are terrifying (the list on l&h is shocking - how can you possibly find anything there?)

Thing is, it would be nice in a way to have hundreds of readers, but then you have to be witty and disciplined and lots of other qualities (other folk write reams of stuff) and then you wonder if you do have any other life. And although I've proved I can write a thousand words in a day (a couple of hours if I know what I want to say) do I want to? How big is my community? Is it worth being famous? How careful would I have to be?

I don't know really. What's the point as someone once said?

Why do we do it?

I'm listening to yesterday's Radio 4 programme in the series "Meet the Bloggers". This one includes an interview with La Petite Anglaise who lost her job through blogging. She and many others talk about their lives and have titles for their friends and family (Tadpole, Mister Frog, in her case). There's clearly a need to reflect on their lives. Blogging helps.

Me too. But this blog also covers other things - not just my personal story, but larger reflections; which is what some bloggers do exclusively. Am I trying to do too much and falling between two stools? Perhaps it makes this blog confusing. Some posts are coded to protect the innocent. Some are straight. I'm given to understand that it's sometimes difficult to tell the difference. Should the content be taken literally or interpreted?

Stylistic similarities to the Bible, then?

Communion from First Principles

That was what Richard called it on Sunday. So we had no liturgy at all - we simply heard the familiar story retold in a fresh way (and one that followed on from the sermon, moreover - challenging about rules and regulations).

I do prefer it. I am sure not everybody who reads this will totally agree but I don't mind.

Book of the Year

More like book of the decade, or quarter-century actually ...

Read it on holiday (one afternoon, saved the end until the evening).

It's about destiny, its about choices, the ones you make and the ones you duck, it's about life and how to go through it. It's inspirational, it's thrilling, it's life changing.

I only just got to it, but if you can't take my word for it, then there's a review
here but don't bother reading the review, just get the book and read it.

Some more pictures

Another tradition to discard

According to Roots magazine, prayers of confession and penitence in a service of worship were not part of early Christian worship (1000 years!) and not even today part of Orthodox worship.

Tomorrow at Staple Hill we shall rediscover our roots. And think about what it implies for our daily lives.

New and improved - why can't they leave things alone?

Well it is more than two years since I got my reading glasses so I eventuallywent for the eye test they've been pressing me for since May. Yes, everything's fine thank you. Well apparently not quite (I think the difference is marginal, but I suppose she's the expert) so new glasses.

"What sort of frames would you like?"

(Firmly) "Same as last time, please." (Worth a try)

Types it in the computer.

Big red word in centre of screen DISCONTINUED What a surprise.

"Come and look at these." (Nice helpful assistant, don't get me wrong.)

Four columns of frames (all on special offer, well I suppose a partial result but talk about choice fatigue).

"Which do you like?"
"I don't know." (Well how do I know? They're not a fashion accessory, they're functional. I didn't know the first time two years ago and I still don't. I feel like saying "you choose". They turned out all right I think.)
"These are quite like the ones you had." (And they are)
"Fine, I'll have those." (She's vaguely disappointed I don't try them all on and then go back to the first ones, I think, but why bother?)

All right, things move on. We progress. But surely, surely, we change things because they're outdated, outmoded, technology's improved, some reason, not for the sake of it? If things were well designed two years ago why are they not well designed now? And if there are things nearly the same, why aren't they just the same? (Maybe the optician can see an improvement in the technology, but I wonder.)

"Do you want thinner lenses?"
"Do you think I should? What's your recommendation?"
I do like to ask the expert - she knows better than me. In the end we agreed to stick with the same as last time. Apparently it's a borderline decision.

I'm sure they'll be fine.

It's the same with shoes. And spatulas (no I won't tell the spatula story again). Just stop redesigning stuff that's already perfectly well designed. Then we can spend the time changing the stuff that really does need a makeover.

Who's a grumpy old man, then?

Gallery

Chicken-Little gets an education

One morning, Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Can I play in the garden?" But Mother-Hen said, "No, I want you to practise your counting." So Chicken-Little counted all day. By bedtime he had got to 42 and he was very tired.

The next morning Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Can I play in the garden today?" "No", said Mother-Hen, "we are going for a walk". And they walked and walked and got to the end of the garden. And Chicken-Little was very tired.

The next morning Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Will you teach me to read?" But Mother-Hen was too busy. So Chicken-Little went to Goosey-Gander and said, "Will you teach me to read?" And Goosey-Gander sat down and taught Chicken-Little the alphabet. And Chicken-Little was very tired.

The next day Chicken-Little went to stay with Busy-Badger and Daffy-Duck.

Angela's Joke

So we stopped at a service station in Germany on the way home and it's got its own little chapel. (Locked, mind you.) Is driving in Germany that scary? Why does the song Radar Love come into my mind? (Yeah all right maybe that's just every time I go on the autobahn - and then I think of Kraftwerk ...)

Anyway, Angela's joke: "It's a service station with its own service station!" Please yourself.

Perhaps we should have some in England. Like on the M1. Please God let the lunatics be going up the M6 today.

When is a tourist not a tourist?

When they become an attraction themselves.

We went for a "historic tram ride" in Prague to see the city by dusk. The wine flowed and the accordionist played. People looked to see where the music came from - that old thing? They were curious, astonished, puzzled, enraptured, hilarified (is that a word? It is now). Some took pictures of us!

The worshippers became the worshipped? Bit fanciful? Makes you think, though.

So Good to Be Back Home Again (The Tourists)

Seems an appropriate title.

12 days.
2512 miles (from Calais to Calais).
7 countries.
4 currencies.
Much beer.

Languages? ah.
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who only speaks one language? English.
What a relief to be back in a place where everyone speaks the same number as you. With magnificent memories, pictures, images. (which will appear eventually)

So we tried (in no particular order): gulasch soup, nurnberg sausages, chicken with ham and cheese Slovakian style, fried goose liver (delicacy - yum) and lots of stuff that we don't really know what it was but it slipped down all the same.

Explore new places. Whatever it costs.

Travels Far Afield

When I go to different places I like to eat the local speciality (most of the time).

In France I have had snails and frogs' legs and I drank French wine.
In Spain I ate black paella and drank red wine. Tapas and cerveza at midnight.
In Portugal, lobster and red wine. Tomatoes.
Belgium, mussels in white wine and Stella.

Italy! Pasta, pizza, ice cream and beer (Italian lunch - one ice-cream, one beer.)
Germany, sausages, white wine, beer (not all together). Not keen on sauerkraut.
Norway, smoked fish, smoked cheese and, er, beer.
Austria, strudel, germ-knudel (not sure about spelling), beer (hey).
Switzerland, fondue.

America, steak and potatoes separately. Eggs sunny side up.
Scotland, haggis and chips with sal'n'sos (couldn't find a deepfried Mars bar). Iron Brew (and beer). Drambuie. Decided against a white wine spritzer.
Oz - the barby and the tinnies!
Uganda fried green bananas and stew. ("meat")

So, goulash, Czech beer, strudel - what's the national dish of Slovakia?

Moving on is exciting. New ways, new friends.

Bits I didn't cut from my essays

[The Church of South India] accepted the historic episcopate as necessary for the shepherding of the Church.

(about the CSI) "What began as a genuine union ... has become ... an Anglican church. There is little of Methodism, Presbyterianism, or Congregationalism left in the CSI except in memory.

Another view: episcopacy was not scriptural and therefore unacceptable.

... unity talks are certainly no longer a priority, probably unnecessary and even counter-productive. The evidence is that they distract from mission and take energy away from real ecumenical initiatives

.... there existed an order of Jewish priests in the Old Testament ... [but] no-one is advocating a hereditary order of Methodist presbyters ...

... there is no priestly caste, ( first published in Clause 4 of the Deed of Union, 1932: " ... no priesthood differing in kind from that which is common to all people ...")

Let us celebrate the past, without feeling that it must be recreated in the present or the future.

My New Hero

Alexander Kilham

Bits I cut from my essays

Traditions; any large organisation has an inertia, the result of which is to discourage change until a strong weakness is seen.

(of the unity scheme in the 1960s) If the reconciliation service was not in fact a re-ordination then it achieved nothing and was therefore pointless.

"They protest against submitting ... to the unlimited authority of the preachers ... there has been no instance in the history of the Christian church in which spiritual tyranny has not been fatal to the interests of religion, the character of its ministers and privileges of the people." (Wesleyan Protestant Methodists, Tenth Point, c.1828)

There was also a quote which I can't find again amounting to: "How can you take a twentysomething young man, give him three or four years' ministerial training and expect that to last him through his career?" (written before there were female ministers).

The love that dare not speak its name

In musical terms this is progressive rock (prog). Prog hasn't been cool since 1967. John Peel said ELP were "a waste of electricity". He was (as quite often) wrong. (I'm not a fan of Genesis, Yes, Marillion, though.)

But since Q has this month a feature on "guilty pleasures" (things that you like, that are good even though they aren't cool) I admit to buying the greatest hits of Focus. Double CD. No vocals (apart from the yodelling). Eight minute keyboard solos. Intricate guitar work. Fantastic. So you don't want it all the time, but sometimes it's great.

Sometimes you like simplicity as well. Also acquired this weekend The Bravery (self-titled album). Like The Strokes with keyboards, Keane with a backbeat (and better obviously). An Honest Mistake is obviously the best track but the rest grows on you.

Where was I?

Guilty pleasures in worship?

Pedantry rules, is that all right with you?

Thanks to Lynne Truss and others more attention is being given to punctuation and spelling. Syntax even gets a look in. So this is for the forgotten triplet, semantics.

So many times have I seen the wrong one from "principal" and "principle" selected that I have to check myself every time. The most amusing (?) example was on a letter from the General Teachers' Council (great was the rejoicing when the NASUWT finally got the apostrophe in the right place in that one, forgive the tangent) to a principal, with the wrong word used in the address line. Wish I'd kept a copy.

More usually though it's a word or phrase with the wrong meaning. "Catch-22" is not the same as a "no-win situation" but you'd certainly think so from its usual usage. "Enormity" - even on the BBC news - where the word is "magnitude" or even "enormousness" (yes you can create words in a living language). A tsunami is not an enormity as it is not an evil act. And others have spoken about that flipping woman and her "ironic" song so we won't go on about it here. Actually I guess you can sing it ironically.

There is however one TV detective who attempts to use language correctly. Sadly it is not Inspector Linley who completely gratuitously and totally erroneously just said "beg the question".

Bring back Mayo!

Chain of Circumstance

Funny how things turn out. When we moved down here I wasn't getting my gaming fix anymore. So I saw a small listing in an irregular small-circulation magazine about a "Hobbymeet". The phone number didn't work so I worked out what day it should be on and just turned up on the far side of Bristol not knowing anyone there. Which was a bit of a surprise to an established group who'd forgotten all about the listing - since they hadn't heard of the mag it was in, because it had just taken the listing from another one.

Anyway the gaming community made me welcome, even though I barely knew what a fanzine was.

Years later and I am a stalwart of the group, to the extent that Bill and I were this month's group - the tradition being maintained by a game of Mykenos (excellent).

Of such chances and chains are communities built. There's a sermon here somewhere. Go and write it.

Born Too Late

They Don't Write Them Like That Anymore:

You don't hear many songs these days about a girl's love for an older man. In fact I wondered again what the reaction would be if it came out today?

From the other side:

When You Ask About Love - The Crickets.

An oldie but goodie

I am reminded of the old joke, "What's the difference between a minister and a Local Preacher?"

A minister is paid to be good and a Local Preacher is good for nothing.

Many a true word spoken in jest.

Another day, another thousand words

I just hope that they say something sensible and acceptable. And just what do you put in a bibliography anyway?

We built this city

Music for different moods. I was still playing soca/cumbia in the car this afternoon in the middle of a downpour (tropical monsoon?) - but that's really lazy sunny music.

So on the way back with no sun to be seen I changed to the Born to be Wild compilation. Still the best when it's grey outside. There's a reason why Britain produces the best driving rock.

Track 2 We Built This City on Rock n Roll. Of course we did.

Ordinary or extra-ordinary

Wesley understood the need for both. But is the ordinary the enemy of the extra-ordinary?

The wonder of creation

I thought it was time for a picture.

The Original Crazy Diamond

Last night BBC repeated the documentary about Syd Barrett to mark his passing.

Marvellous quote from it, "Nutters have moments of clarity, all the time. They see things sometimes more clearly then most of us do." Quite.

Goodbye Syd.

Mercury

1. An element, the only common metal liquid at room temperatures, freezes easily, extremely toxic. Slightly volatile at room temperature. Also called quicksilver. Has many uses.

2. The nearest planet to the Sun.
Mercury was named by the Romans after the fleet-footed messenger of the gods because it seemed to move more quickly than any other planet.

3. The Roman god of merchandise, theft, and eloquence, messenger of the gods. The swiftest of the Gods. A precocious youth. To the Babylonians he was viewed as the bearer of riches. To the astrologers of the Renaissance he was the bringer of misfortune.

Mercurial, adj. having the qualities attributed to persons born under the planet - eloquent etc; active, sprightly, often changing; temperamental, volatile.

Helping Yourself

What's the difference between Bible classes and Bible study?

In one case you have to go to a lot of boring meetings.

Colours of day

The minister covers what remains of the elements with a white cloth.

Well, to me of course that's like a red rag to a bull, if you'll pardon the phrase (what's the opposite of a pun?) I mean the use of the descriptor, white. Why white?

Presumably it's symbolic, but of what? White represents purity and innocence. It can represent life, and also death (which is why John is wearing a white suit on the cover of Abbey Road, of course). Does white mean all these in this case, and are there others?

I understand that at Conference this year they used a tartan cloth - to celebrate being in Scotland, or to emphasis a Methodist service? Great.

So I wondered if we should have different colours at different times of year, like in the vestments etc. Blood-red in Lent? Now there would be a powerful symbol that would bring us up. Easter Day - white edged in gold? purple (for kingship?).

Other suggestions?

Less is more

If you can say it in four words why use four hundred?

Thank God for the weather

I love the hot sun. Lazy hazy days. Yes, the rain is good too, but the sun is happy. Enjoy it while it lasts. Tomorrow may be something else.

Blogger Support Network

OK so I've been a bit slow on this one, and only saw the story today on Ceefax. This is the new homepage of La Petite Anglaise who has been sacked by her employers for keeping a blog which "might" lead them to be identified. Now of course she and they are all over the media.

Competition Time - The Shortest Sermon in the World

Here is my entry, to be delivered this Sunday at Watley's End and Zion:

"What time is it?"

That is not the title - it is the sermon.

Since there should be space in the service, I shall also be delivering my second entry:

"Is that the time?"

Further entries welcome, but I'm not promising a prize, only glory.

Cinderella fella

Did you ever want to start a fire but all you were allowed to do was rake over the ashes?

Crisis Management

Well this week I was going to do a series of thoughtful posts on science and theology but again I've reached a crisis point. Fortunately I have a lot of people who help me out of them when I can't see where to go. It's going to be a little while yet though until the nails have all been cleared up. Normal service will be resumed ... sometime. Or maybe this is normal service?

Text, pretext and context

Well I was going to write something about quoting random fragments of Scripture out of context and ladling meaning into them to support whatever argument you wish to espouse, but someone's beaten me to it. So I suggest you just go to this comment to see the counter-blast well stated. Saved me a job anyway.

Late Arrivals at the University Ball

Please welcome the Dhin brothers from India:

the successful essay writer Handidi Dhin, and the less successful Chukhdi.

I thang you.

(If you don't understand this you haven't listened to enough editions of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. Get online or to BBC7 and do so.)

Let's work together

My post counter tells me this is my 100th post, so I thought I'd do something really powerful, exceptional, important. But I can't think of anything so I'll have to settle for something at least serious.

Every week almost I read about the "science-religion conflict". Well I can't speak for what some "scientists" and some "religious types" do, but I insist there is no conflict between science and theology. And since I do both in my limited way, I am passionate about this.

Are not both "science" and "theology" attempts to find the truth? Truth is truth and none of your post-modernist metanarrative rubbish, please. Any perceived conflict must therefore be due to doing bad science or bad theology, or I guess both. They may work in apparently different styles - the experiments are not quite like each other all the time - and in different areas. But both are rational. Both observe and construct theories. Which are subject to analysis. To see if they contradict observed facts (experience of God is a fact, although of a different sort and subject to careful scrutiny).

In fact I assert that by any normal meaning of the word "science" (like knowledge) then theology is a science. So are philosophy, metaphysics, history (all about causation), psychology and you can go on. Some of them we call inexact, forgetting how inexact the cutting edge of theoretical physics can be. Inexactness is not a problem - declaring something exact when it is inexact is the root of trouble, because it's bad science.

Finding the truth is bad enough without your fellow-seekers slagging you off.

What's the time?

There is a season.

A time to be born, a time to die.
A time to plant, a time to reap.
A time to kill, a time to heal.
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

A time to build up, a time to break down.
A time to dance, a time to mourn.
A time to cast away stones.
A time to gather stones together.

A time of love, a time of hate.
A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace.
A time to refrain from embracing.
A time to gain, a time to lose.
A time to rend, a time to sow.
A time for love, a time for hate.
A time for peace.

Words as adapted by Pete Seeger in Turn, Turn, Turn! from Ecclesiastes.

Is that the time?

Odd one out

This is called having too much of a good thing. It's fun to be different. It's not so much fun when it's all the time. Sometimes you need a bit of support in it.

It's not really about the World Cup, honest

Catching up on Telegraph articles about England's "failure" (hey they got into the last 8 in the world!) there are contained therein numerous references to "the golden generation" and at least one to "the golden child" (who I think is Rooney although that was in an article about Beckham) leading them.
It's the first time I'd seen it so explicitly stated but only I think because I don't read the football pages very often really - and I'm sure I've heard it on the telly. Before the contest - long before.

You can't do that. Mustn't.

You cannot give that sort of tag to anyone in preview. You might do it in retrospect when you can dispassionately analyse and reflect. (If that's possible in football writing.) Be sure even then.

It asks too much. Whatever potential you think you may have spotted, whatever skills you think may have been displayed in lesser situations, you cannot put that pressure on anyone. Because then they can only "fail". They cannot succeed. Nothing will satisfy. Win the Cup once and you'll be asked to do it again (or better) - until it is impossible.

Talent, where it exists, still has to be nurtured. Yes it has to be challenged, or the step to the big league cannot be made - and it is the WORLD Cup - but you have to help it develop on the way. It might develop in ways you did not expect, or want. It may be that the midfield runner can play alone up front - but it has to be trained. And if it can't go in one direction then you help it to work out its destiny in whatever way is best for the subject, not you, and not force it into prior and premature patterns. But if you expect automatic success, if you think you can force a mould, you are guaranteed disappointment all round. No-one can predict the future. To even conceive of a phrase like "golden generation" is dangerous. To mention it - to anyone - is fatal. To let the subject hear it is catastrophic.

Gold is precious. Don't drop it.

One year on

This is a difficult one but you get nowhere by not tackling the difficult ones.

Rageh Omaar has a good piece in today's New Statesman about how the media doesn't engage with Muslims except on a certain tack, and then I saw the headlines in some of the redtops (which I don't read): "Unbeaten", "No Surrender".

Well, understandable, and true I suppose but just a bit forceful/antagonistic? How do British Muslims feel when they see that? If "Let's sit down and talk" is perhaps a bit far then maybe we could have managed "We Will remember"?

In the spotlight?

A propos of the previous post, it suddenly occurs to me: to date all those reading this blog have known me (at least as far as I'm aware) and can make allowances. Now I've opened myself up to a wider audience.

I shall have to be more careful what I say.

Methodists communication shocker

Well I finally got to look at TheConnexion.Net that Angela pointed out to me, and since they've put a link to my blog (with a very kind post on Richard's personal blog), I've started a new links section on the right called Methodists on the Net and given them pride of place. Check them out - and you can ask to join too!

Essay writing

Here are some useful phrases and their translations.

Quote: "There are many references in the literature .."
Translation: "I can't find them"

Q: "More research could be done ..."
T: "I couldn't be bothered"

Q: "There is a more modern view..."
T: "I haven't read anything published since 1965"

Q: "Some hold the view that .."
T: "My mate down the pub says ..."

Q: "This is a very complex question"
T: "I don't understand it"

Q: "A complete theory has yet to be formulated"
T: "Nor does anyone else"

Q: "This question is beyond the scope of the brief."
T: "Phew."

Q: "It follows that..."
T: "It doesn't follow, I'm busking it."

and some scentific/mathematical ones:

Q: "Exercise for the student"
T: "You're on your own"

Q: "Clearly"
T: "A few lines of algebra and you should be convinced"

Q: "It turns out that ..."
T: "Several pages of very messy algebra have been omitted. Best of luck in reconstructing them."

World Cup Reflections - hey it's popular culture, all right?

Two contrasting thoughts.

Before them though I have to admit that I thought from watching the group games that the final was likely to be Brazil v Argentina. Shows what I know. (Not that I was alone in such a belief - come in, The Telegraph.)

Someone at church today said that after the Portugal game she saw the newsreader on TV throw his England flag in the bin. She thought that was wrong, and I agree with her. If we have allegiance to someone or some group or some concept or whatever then we do not abandon him/her/it/them just because they are not a "winner". For that is not the Gospel and it is not even pragmatic secular. It encourages the wrong attitude ("win at all costs") and it fails to give support where needed. The great thing about the English support this World Cup is that even though the team has not played well, the fans continued to turn up and sing their hearts out in support. They were loyal. Loyalty should not be blind but is also not easily disposable.

On the other hand:

England have in truth not looked like they were capable of or deserving of winning the World Cup in any of their five games. Talk about unfulfilled promise. So a 1-0 win is a win and you are allowed some - but sooner or later you have to play well. So maybe with all the (metaphorical and literal) flag-waving in the press and the substantial hype about their chances, they felt under too great a pressure to achieve that they could not perform - they looked like frozen rabbits at times - and that stopped them. Or maybe the pressure to justify their salaries (I wouldn't mind that sort of pressure for a bit) , or ... Sometimes they look like they are just waiting for an excuse to lose. Player sent off, jinx coach opposite, can't win penalty shootouts ... (and we must counter here the argument that "the law of averages says they must win one" - it says no such thing). How many excuses are sufficient?

So you ask: why did they not perform? Portugal were beatable. If England had been two up, and probably if one up, when Rooney was sent off they would still have won - but for those 62 minutes he was on the field they barely looked like scoring. An organisation with such stage-fright has to be questioned as to its belief, effort and tactics. And whether the ability is as great as stated. Do any other organisations seem to achieve less success than they might be expected to? Do they look like they are using convenient excuses for lack of success?

Master and Servant

There liveth at that time a man who though his dwelling and attire be passing well appointed, yet his heart was empty, though he knoweth it not. And there cometh to his door a visitor who desireth to serve and he knocketh on the door, which when it openeth unto him, he saith to the owner "I have come because I desire to minister to you for I can see that your heart is sore. I shall be your servant and you shall be my master and this is my wish." And the owner, touched by the generosity of the offer, inviteth the stranger in and saith "I shall beyour master and you shall be my servant. Welcome."

So the servant taketh his position and looketh after the master and prepareth meals and keepeth the dwelling tidy and in this wise careth for the master. And the master's heart was eased and even strangely warmed for the relationship it was a good one and benefitteth both parties. And it came that the master saith to himself "I have received so much from my servant and it is not right that I give nothing in return." So he calleth the servant and he saith "Look here is a space which shall be yours for you have been faithful and true to your word and the servant is worthy of his hire." And he gaveth the servant to have his own bedroom and study for his comfort. And their relationship grew further harmonious and both prospered.

And the master saith again "I shall pay you, my servant, that you feel worthy and that your apparel may be a sign that you are hardworking and I shall no longer call you servant but butler." And it pleaseth the servant to be so honoured and valued and he was continual diligent. And some looketh on and marvelled.

But the honour given to the butler he felt not to be as great as that which the master possesseth and the butler, though he continue to serve at table, feeleth that he too was needy and he sneaketh sips of wine from the master's cellar when unobserved. And the master realiseth not and yet he wondereth that he had partaken so much. And the butler cometh to the master and saith "I could serve you better yet if you would allow me to do so, but it requires some investment. For in order to study correctly how best I may serve you I need some space and support and several more rooms, even unto the size of four." And the master seeth the logic and constructeth an extension being a whole new wing and an en-suite for the private use of the butler only, even though the cost was considerable and his resources were diminished thereby.

And the butler cometh again and addresseth the master thus "It seems to me that I am now more than a butler to you for I have all your interests at heart, and should I be given a new title?" And the master respondeth "You shall be called estate manager and I shall pay you accordingly for you have all my best interests at heart and whatever costs you have I shall cover them." And yet he goeth away and gaveth off a great sigh. For it seemeth to him that events overtaketh him and the financial burden it groweth larger and larger but his heart now vex him sore from time to time. For the master seeth how the estate manager now finely dresseth himself in comparison; and yet he remembereth all that had been given and he was still grateful
for all the past times. But the relationship between the twain now straineth a tiny bit. And indeed the expenses groweth further and more than the master had projected.

And then the day cometh when the estates manager cometh to the master (for he had become bold in manner) and saith "The costs continue to mount and I need an 8% increase to continue to manage my affairs." And the master taketh down the 12-bore shotgun from above the mantel-piece and he loadeth it and he giveth the estates manager both barrels full in the chest so that he lieth at his feet. And the master saith "There's an end of that", and he throweth the body into the street as a warning for all. And he putteth a sign on the outside of his house which saith

NO SERVANTS WANTED. KEEP AWAY.

And he liveth many long years more and though he yearneth inwardly yet he never forgetteth the servant who became a butler and finally a manager.

The Man in the Grey Suit - a cautionary tale

There was a man who used to wear an old grey suit. One of his friends suggested he could try something different, so he went out and bought a nice blue jacket. But on the first day that he wore it, somebody said they thought it was a bit too bright, and in order not to offend, he put it away for another day.

But that night he died, and some of his friends said it was a pity. Others though said that although it was a loss, they felt it should have happened earlier anyway because he was too conscious of standing out. And they went out and painted a rainbow.

The Last Supper

I wonder how it was set out?

LOL

A few programmes have made me laugh out loud when on my own:

Bottom
Men Behaving Badly
Grumpy Old Men
Green Wing

and the daddy of them all:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.

Lots of fun in "One song to the Tune of Another".

This week:
Rob Brydon singing "Killing Me Softly With His Song" to the tune "The Bare Necessities".
Graeme Garden singing "Blowin' in the Wind" to the tune "Daytrip to Bangor"

Sadly no Jeremy Hardy. If you've heard me sing, you'll understand why I appreciate Jeremy so much.

Wish You Were Here

Now there's an ambiguous phrase if you like. Like the Spanish inquisition, every time I think I've counted the number of meanings I get another one. So these are not numbered.

It can be what postcards purport to be - I'm having a really good time and I think you'd like it too - a gift.
One step down: is I'm having a pretty good time, but something is missing, and it's you. Then it would be perfect. Yearning.
Further down is: I'm having a poor time but you would perhaps make it bearable. Alienation and loneliness but could be tinged with (faint) hope.
A bit more sardonic is: I'm having a poor time and you might as well be as miserable as me.
And of course: wish you were here and wish I wasn't. Which can have two versions, depending whether you think the addressee would like it.

Roger Waters seems to start in the third one, addressing Syd, but by side two (sorry, habit) is somewhere in the last phase, addressing - who knows. Hopelessness and possible paranoia.

What did you mean last time you used it? And who did you talk to? God?

Working for God

The Methodist Church - and maybe others - majors heavily on the idea of "call". All of us who are preachers have spoken of our call, in private, in public, on various occasions, and maybe on how the call has changed over time. And we love to hear of others' call. Not only preachers, of course.

I think we have missed a trick. Sometimes the appropriate term is not "called" but "sent". This sounds more dangerous than it is, for although it implies distance and separation from God, you find when you get there (and we all feel like Jonah sometimes) that God is waiting for you at the other end. All you have to do is find him/her.

The Man in Black

He is an iconic figure. His presence, his silhouette, his shadow, even the threat of his presence, can dominate a landscape or scene. He is symbolic. He sends a chill down your spine.

He can be a villain but that is mostly too obvious. He is an enigmatic figure for he is an outsider. He is a brooding, mysterious character. Even if he laughs, beware, for it is not always what it may seem. What does he want? Why is he there? Will he disrupt or enhance? Will he stay or go? For he can suddenly disappear, leaving only the ghost, the whisper of his otherness.

But it may be otherwise. Jerome K Jerome eloquently explained how we are what we eat and so we can also be what we wear. Maybe the man in black is driven by his appearance rather than the driver of it. He acts the way he does because of his look and feels a slave to it. Why he did choose to wear black? This is the question that must be answered, for it is key. Understand that to understand all.

The man who took off his hat

A man went and bought a new hat to see what it would look like. It was an odd feeling at first and he wasn't sure whether it really fit, and whether he actually liked it, but he persevered and grew to feel comfortable in it. And people began to recognise his new look and eventually to know him by his hat. He felt meanwhile that his hat was part of him and reflected who he was. He certainly noticed that people treated him differently from how they had before he started wearing it - a few didn't like it and wanted him to stop, and a few treated him worse, but on the whole he got on better with those he met.

But he wondered after a while whether folk only saw the hat, although he still felt comfortable in it. And he wondered what would happen if he took his hat off - how would he feel? So one day he took his hat off. It felt distinctly odd, and some folk didn't seem to recognise him any more, but despite all that he felt oddly liberated. He felt excited and confused together and those who knew him sensed it too. Some worried about him, and some encouraged him, and some wanted him to put that hat straight back on, and some didn't know how to advise him (but some did anyway). So he had to have a serious think.

Should he go back to wearing the familiar hat? Would it be the same?
Should he wear it only sometimes? What would people think? Would they recognise him?
Was the hat too old to wear, and should he buy a new one, or simply go without for a bit?

Ichthus

I don't normally race to read it, but for some reason did today. Wow. Bit curious though.

First article starts "If you ask most students about theological College ..." ! - but that's only the hook. And though it purports to be about prayer it seems to be more about sermons. So that one threw me for a loop.

And page 19 (by P. Johnson!) starts about hymn-sandwiches, but finishes about liturgy and read prayers! (a little harshly here and there on the latter). I do agree with him on meditation, though.

OK I know when I'm being got at.

Reflections on alternative worship

I've had a bit of time to think, but these thoughts are still to some extent "work in progress".

I enjoyed the service. That's the only bit here that's meant to be evaluative, but it's worth saying first.

I wonder if I need a bit of practice at getting as much as I can out of this sort of service. Specifically I wonder if I tried to do too much - in that in the time available I tried to go round every station, not necessarily to spend equal time at each but to value each, and I don't think I had enough time at every place. I probably could have spent twice as long at most of them.

In the order I visited:

The hotel room I take to be about loneliness and alienation, but there's something else which I haven't quite verbalised.
I placed myself on the physical map and looked at the old map, wondering at its value. I did write something about this station at the signpost.
At the tent I remembered a gift from God and a place at which it "was received".
The camper van told me about how we treat those who travel, but I think there's more.
At the signpost I read others' messages but can't now remember any - and I think some were helpful. I hope mine was. The signpost is perhaps a bit obvious as a symbol and too familiar (or current) for new reflection.
The cairn was a puzzle. I don't recall clearly what it said. And I had definitely run out of time at the end.

The blues song was good to finish, but I didn't get much from the readings - again perhaps too familiar? Couldn't manage the fresh eyes needed. I was challenged by writing on the tape. I may have taken this one too literally.

I'm still in a place where I'm more comfortable with more input, or maybe a particular form of same. We'll see. Like eating rich food when you're used to simple fare? Or nouvelle cuisine compared with a trencherman's usual?

Introduction Needed

I need to meet someone. No not that sort of someone. It occurs to me that I know a Hope and a Charity, but I need to get to know a Faith to complete the set.

I also know a Grace and a Verity, and a Joy. Perhaps a Makepeace?

I know an Angel and at least one Michael, so a Gabriel would be good. Or a Raphael.

At College I know David and Jonathan.

I could probably do with a Patience and a Prudence, too.

Cairns

This is a story about a man who used to take stones and use them to make little cairns. He spent quite some time learning and practising and became quite good at it. People used to admire his little cairns, for they were carefully constructed, and even sometimes they made special trips to see them. He even taught other people to construct them and they became quite good too, for he could explain the techniques involved. And lots of people liked the cairns even though they were so numerous.

But he became aware that the cairns were at heart all the same even though they could be painted differently. So he enquired and discovered that there were other shapes that could be made. Someone showed him how to make a pyramid, and then a wall, and someone else showed him smaller versions and finally he saw that you could make attractive patterns out of the stones without all the complications of building. And suddenly he didn't want to make any more cairns. But that was what he was good at. So what did he do?

From Paul's letter to the new professionals

.... The team is a unit, though it is made up of many parts. If the central defender should say, "Because I am not a holding midfield, I do not need to work for the team" it would not for that reason not have to work for the team. And if the striker should say "Because I am not an attacking midfield, I do not have to beat a man", it would not for that reason have the right to complain when it gets substituted. If the whole team were a central midfield pretending to be a back four then it would struggle to beat Trinidad and Tobago. In fact Sven has arranged the parts of the team but somehow the message has not come through and the team likes to go its own way and play 4-5-1 hit and hope rather than diamond formation. Some of the members of the team are given special glory and the rest of the team have to accept that and work a bit harder rather than shooting from 35 yards out. There should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other for if one part suffers the team gets stuffed by the first decent opposition it encounters. If one part is honoured you all get to ride on the bus with him. Eagerly desire the greater gifts of passing, running, beating a man and getting to the byeline .

Now I will show you the more excellent way. Argentina 6 Serbia and Montenegro 0 ...."

Here ends the lesson.

Another Prayer Answered

I now have a CD of "Hard Rock Hallelujah", courtesy of Virgin Megastore. Played it all the way home.

Today's discussion point

I'm back to talking about church rather than God I'm afraid, but it wasn't my choice.

The question posed today in the presentation about Fresh Expressions was "What is a church?"

I fear I may be at variance with mainstream thinking, so before I reveal my answer (or lack of one) I wondered if anyone else would like to kick off?

Shoop to the King

OK, I wasn't going to do this, as I intended this prayer as an ephemeral experience, but there seems to be some interest. This is "Shoop to the King" as delivered yesterday. I don't think it's as good on paper as performed live but at least it's something. Gary suggested an audio file but I think there would be a copyright issue. It was performed to Guru's instrumental version of "Shoop" - track 5 on my CD. Details below.

Now I'm gonna tell you all 'bout a man I know,
I know He died for me and I owe him so
He's the best, he's the King, rules on high, he's the Lord of Lords
I gotta give him the glory with all my words
Words, words are not enough to strut all his stuff so
I tell you stories his glory the more is -
Where to begin? It begins with him this creation would not be
Beautifully given to you and to me the flower and the tree
And all the creatures features preachers need to see
How many ways we are blessed greatly caressed given rest
So look around the world use your ears and eyes
Think about the man what he's done for you
Give him the praise that is truly due
Seraphim and cherubim they sing he is holy holy
Wholly present where we are in his name no shame no blame
I wanna shoop

Shoop shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

Now you all know Him yes I know you do
So join in the shoop with me and you can bless him too
He hears our prayer and he knows our minds
We don't need words and we don't need rhymes
We bless him now and all the time in all we say and do
He's here right now for he said he would be
Just like in those days when he walked ate slept wept kept
obedient to the task we ask can we be the same spread his fame
All across the world to boys and girls women and men and then
His kingdom grows sometimes slow it flows against the tide
But the vict'ry's won it's gonna come just like the sun
Scatters the dark of night brings light fight the good fight it's right
To wanna shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

So let me get back to the subject look at the text what's next
He was walking by and Johnny said
The Lamb of God who will save the dead
By grace and love and his almighty power
…….
But the power's not in guns and not in fear it's in love
Strength and humility last shall be first suffering servant
On your mark get set go let's go let's shoop
To all God's child'n we pray and praise
Tell of the truth and hope in the Gospel story
Feed his lambs tend his sheep and keep them safe in peace
Lie down by the pool that's still and clear it's clear
There's a better way for lives to go no drugs no show
It's simple all you need to do is shoop
To shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

There's more to this story than can ever be told
He gave us his Spirit so we don't get cold
We have to wake up be like Smyrna a learner fire burner
Brand that is blazing setting fire lift the cross higher
Put the lamp on the stand so it can be seen
Now I ask you do you know what I mean
When I say I wanna shoop?

This is based on "Shoop" by Salt'n'Pepa and I owe a debt to Salt not only for the lyrics I borrowed but for general inspiration.
"Shoop" is written by Sparks, James , Denton and Roberts, and is copyright London Records 1993. My copy is on ffrrr and the number is FCD219.
It is also available on the album "Very Necessary".


I should record here my general appreciation of Salt'n'Pepa (and Spinderella). As a rule, I have no time for rap and these three young ladies are actually the only hip-hop artistes I rate and certainly the only ones I have bought. But I do rate them very highly, not least for their sense of humour, and I have all their albums and the vast majority of singles. (I may have missed the odd one.) They have given me many hours of listening pleasure. Check them out.

Great Myths of Our Time

As promised a few to go on with.

1. The Seventies were The Decade that Taste Forgot (that would be the Eighties).

2. Dr Who is a children's programme (that would be Star Trek).

3. England have a team of world-class players. (Not really fair - there is enough material for a separate list of Great Football Myths of which this is merely the leading contender. Maybe even of Great English Football Myths.)

Shoop

I wanna shoop.

Live.

The Ritual of Preaching

Not technically exact, but hey. After a quarter off, I remind myself today of the excitement of THE NEW PLAN. The ritual goes:

1. Get Plan. Rip envelope open.
Next steps muxt be done immediately regardless of context.
2. Scan hurriedly for name.
3. Scan in detail for name and ring all occurrences of same. Count. Double check (vital - once I didn't do it).
4. Transcribe immediately into diary.
5. Check no problem with dates.

Steps 4 and 5 are equally as vital as 3.

As Tutor there is an extra section:
6. Check for all Preachers in training, putting star by names on Plan.

(By this point, there are nearly more additions than original.)

7. Reflect, work out logistics (8 appointments!?), decide when sermons will be written. Have 4 ideas (all of which will mercifully be forgotten within days). Begin to consider contacting preachers to hear trainees. (Forget and redo in panic in three weeks.)

It's good to talk.

Obsession

Sample conversation:

Q: What are you going to be doing on (random date)?
P: Watching the World Cup
Q: I didn't think England were playing on (that date)?
P: They aren't
Q: So why is it important?
P: It's the WORLD CUP.

Well, it's as accurate as the report of the conversation Jesus had with Nicodemus.

So far I've seen the whole of the first four games and at least half of each of the next four. This is low by normal standards. IT'S THE WORLD CUP. All right, I'll stop shouting. But how many times do you get to see Poland play Ecuador? Not many. So I'm watching the World Cup. Usually I cancel my social life for a month; it's more difficult to arrange this time. Even though it's the World Cup.

Shouldn't you be spending time with God? I bet he's watching too (and without foreknowledge - ruins a game). Who does He support? Well if He's unlucky He supports England too - but I doubt it. As a supporter of the beautiful, probably Italy or Portugal - and if England can't win it, then one of these two will do fine.

But while we're waiting for the result, I might be a bit distracted. If I appear so, I'm probably wondering how Spain are getting on against the Ukraine, or whether South Korea can surprise France. Or whether Sven can get his tactics right. Or calculating how many points we want Italy to get so that they don't meet England in the quarter-finals. Or just dreaming ...

It's good to talk

.... and it's even better to have friends who will listen and respond, and are not afraid to offer suggestions and constructive criticism.

I am especially blessed in having several of these. No names, because you know who you are.

Accept this generalised thank-you in lieu of all the times I forget to say it directly.

(Curious counterpoint to the previous post, eh?)

Being Quiet

Contrary to some people's opinion, I don't have any trouble being quiet on occasion. But what I desire from others when I'm quiet varies. Sometimes I'm quiet to loud music, and I mean loud. Sometimes I'm quiet to music that's not so loud - though rarely quiet music, if you get my meaning.

Words are more tricky. An impetus can be valuable. Silence can be helpful. What is less useful to thought is being given the answers all neatly wrapped up. It leaves you nothing to do. (If you're not then going to act immediately, anyway.)

So when you've got me started, then consider stopping yourself. We can comfortably co-exist in a shared silence.

And of course if you've got nothing to say, then don't say it. I remember the definition of circumlocution:

Circumlocution: A literary device by which the writer with nothing to say breaks this news gently to the reader. (Ambrose Bierce.)