Cairns

This is a story about a man who used to take stones and use them to make little cairns. He spent quite some time learning and practising and became quite good at it. People used to admire his little cairns, for they were carefully constructed, and even sometimes they made special trips to see them. He even taught other people to construct them and they became quite good too, for he could explain the techniques involved. And lots of people liked the cairns even though they were so numerous.

But he became aware that the cairns were at heart all the same even though they could be painted differently. So he enquired and discovered that there were other shapes that could be made. Someone showed him how to make a pyramid, and then a wall, and someone else showed him smaller versions and finally he saw that you could make attractive patterns out of the stones without all the complications of building. And suddenly he didn't want to make any more cairns. But that was what he was good at. So what did he do?

From Paul's letter to the new professionals

.... The team is a unit, though it is made up of many parts. If the central defender should say, "Because I am not a holding midfield, I do not need to work for the team" it would not for that reason not have to work for the team. And if the striker should say "Because I am not an attacking midfield, I do not have to beat a man", it would not for that reason have the right to complain when it gets substituted. If the whole team were a central midfield pretending to be a back four then it would struggle to beat Trinidad and Tobago. In fact Sven has arranged the parts of the team but somehow the message has not come through and the team likes to go its own way and play 4-5-1 hit and hope rather than diamond formation. Some of the members of the team are given special glory and the rest of the team have to accept that and work a bit harder rather than shooting from 35 yards out. There should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other for if one part suffers the team gets stuffed by the first decent opposition it encounters. If one part is honoured you all get to ride on the bus with him. Eagerly desire the greater gifts of passing, running, beating a man and getting to the byeline .

Now I will show you the more excellent way. Argentina 6 Serbia and Montenegro 0 ...."

Here ends the lesson.

Another Prayer Answered

I now have a CD of "Hard Rock Hallelujah", courtesy of Virgin Megastore. Played it all the way home.

Today's discussion point

I'm back to talking about church rather than God I'm afraid, but it wasn't my choice.

The question posed today in the presentation about Fresh Expressions was "What is a church?"

I fear I may be at variance with mainstream thinking, so before I reveal my answer (or lack of one) I wondered if anyone else would like to kick off?

Shoop to the King

OK, I wasn't going to do this, as I intended this prayer as an ephemeral experience, but there seems to be some interest. This is "Shoop to the King" as delivered yesterday. I don't think it's as good on paper as performed live but at least it's something. Gary suggested an audio file but I think there would be a copyright issue. It was performed to Guru's instrumental version of "Shoop" - track 5 on my CD. Details below.

Now I'm gonna tell you all 'bout a man I know,
I know He died for me and I owe him so
He's the best, he's the King, rules on high, he's the Lord of Lords
I gotta give him the glory with all my words
Words, words are not enough to strut all his stuff so
I tell you stories his glory the more is -
Where to begin? It begins with him this creation would not be
Beautifully given to you and to me the flower and the tree
And all the creatures features preachers need to see
How many ways we are blessed greatly caressed given rest
So look around the world use your ears and eyes
Think about the man what he's done for you
Give him the praise that is truly due
Seraphim and cherubim they sing he is holy holy
Wholly present where we are in his name no shame no blame
I wanna shoop

Shoop shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

Now you all know Him yes I know you do
So join in the shoop with me and you can bless him too
He hears our prayer and he knows our minds
We don't need words and we don't need rhymes
We bless him now and all the time in all we say and do
He's here right now for he said he would be
Just like in those days when he walked ate slept wept kept
obedient to the task we ask can we be the same spread his fame
All across the world to boys and girls women and men and then
His kingdom grows sometimes slow it flows against the tide
But the vict'ry's won it's gonna come just like the sun
Scatters the dark of night brings light fight the good fight it's right
To wanna shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

So let me get back to the subject look at the text what's next
He was walking by and Johnny said
The Lamb of God who will save the dead
By grace and love and his almighty power
…….
But the power's not in guns and not in fear it's in love
Strength and humility last shall be first suffering servant
On your mark get set go let's go let's shoop
To all God's child'n we pray and praise
Tell of the truth and hope in the Gospel story
Feed his lambs tend his sheep and keep them safe in peace
Lie down by the pool that's still and clear it's clear
There's a better way for lives to go no drugs no show
It's simple all you need to do is shoop
To shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

There's more to this story than can ever be told
He gave us his Spirit so we don't get cold
We have to wake up be like Smyrna a learner fire burner
Brand that is blazing setting fire lift the cross higher
Put the lamp on the stand so it can be seen
Now I ask you do you know what I mean
When I say I wanna shoop?

This is based on "Shoop" by Salt'n'Pepa and I owe a debt to Salt not only for the lyrics I borrowed but for general inspiration.
"Shoop" is written by Sparks, James , Denton and Roberts, and is copyright London Records 1993. My copy is on ffrrr and the number is FCD219.
It is also available on the album "Very Necessary".


I should record here my general appreciation of Salt'n'Pepa (and Spinderella). As a rule, I have no time for rap and these three young ladies are actually the only hip-hop artistes I rate and certainly the only ones I have bought. But I do rate them very highly, not least for their sense of humour, and I have all their albums and the vast majority of singles. (I may have missed the odd one.) They have given me many hours of listening pleasure. Check them out.

Great Myths of Our Time

As promised a few to go on with.

1. The Seventies were The Decade that Taste Forgot (that would be the Eighties).

2. Dr Who is a children's programme (that would be Star Trek).

3. England have a team of world-class players. (Not really fair - there is enough material for a separate list of Great Football Myths of which this is merely the leading contender. Maybe even of Great English Football Myths.)

Shoop

I wanna shoop.

Live.

The Ritual of Preaching

Not technically exact, but hey. After a quarter off, I remind myself today of the excitement of THE NEW PLAN. The ritual goes:

1. Get Plan. Rip envelope open.
Next steps muxt be done immediately regardless of context.
2. Scan hurriedly for name.
3. Scan in detail for name and ring all occurrences of same. Count. Double check (vital - once I didn't do it).
4. Transcribe immediately into diary.
5. Check no problem with dates.

Steps 4 and 5 are equally as vital as 3.

As Tutor there is an extra section:
6. Check for all Preachers in training, putting star by names on Plan.

(By this point, there are nearly more additions than original.)

7. Reflect, work out logistics (8 appointments!?), decide when sermons will be written. Have 4 ideas (all of which will mercifully be forgotten within days). Begin to consider contacting preachers to hear trainees. (Forget and redo in panic in three weeks.)

It's good to talk.

Obsession

Sample conversation:

Q: What are you going to be doing on (random date)?
P: Watching the World Cup
Q: I didn't think England were playing on (that date)?
P: They aren't
Q: So why is it important?
P: It's the WORLD CUP.

Well, it's as accurate as the report of the conversation Jesus had with Nicodemus.

So far I've seen the whole of the first four games and at least half of each of the next four. This is low by normal standards. IT'S THE WORLD CUP. All right, I'll stop shouting. But how many times do you get to see Poland play Ecuador? Not many. So I'm watching the World Cup. Usually I cancel my social life for a month; it's more difficult to arrange this time. Even though it's the World Cup.

Shouldn't you be spending time with God? I bet he's watching too (and without foreknowledge - ruins a game). Who does He support? Well if He's unlucky He supports England too - but I doubt it. As a supporter of the beautiful, probably Italy or Portugal - and if England can't win it, then one of these two will do fine.

But while we're waiting for the result, I might be a bit distracted. If I appear so, I'm probably wondering how Spain are getting on against the Ukraine, or whether South Korea can surprise France. Or whether Sven can get his tactics right. Or calculating how many points we want Italy to get so that they don't meet England in the quarter-finals. Or just dreaming ...

It's good to talk

.... and it's even better to have friends who will listen and respond, and are not afraid to offer suggestions and constructive criticism.

I am especially blessed in having several of these. No names, because you know who you are.

Accept this generalised thank-you in lieu of all the times I forget to say it directly.

(Curious counterpoint to the previous post, eh?)

Being Quiet

Contrary to some people's opinion, I don't have any trouble being quiet on occasion. But what I desire from others when I'm quiet varies. Sometimes I'm quiet to loud music, and I mean loud. Sometimes I'm quiet to music that's not so loud - though rarely quiet music, if you get my meaning.

Words are more tricky. An impetus can be valuable. Silence can be helpful. What is less useful to thought is being given the answers all neatly wrapped up. It leaves you nothing to do. (If you're not then going to act immediately, anyway.)

So when you've got me started, then consider stopping yourself. We can comfortably co-exist in a shared silence.

And of course if you've got nothing to say, then don't say it. I remember the definition of circumlocution:

Circumlocution: A literary device by which the writer with nothing to say breaks this news gently to the reader. (Ambrose Bierce.)

Many paths at the crossroads

Mark talked about this. How do you know which is the correct way? Sometimes it isn't clear which is the narrow path.

There used to be an old logic puzzle about the island of liars and truth-tellers where you have two paths to choose from and you are only allowed to ask one question - but you don't know which tribe your responder belongs too.

When you've worked out or been told that one - and it crops up all over the place so I'm not revealing it here - you get asked what appears to be a harder puzzle which is how you choose correctly with multiple (in mathematical terms, n) options.

Actually this one is easier. In fact it's blindingly simple, but after the first puzzle you look for something too complicated. You do it by elimination (and that doesn't quite give the solution away if you want to think about it).


In real life it's sometimes difficult to eliminate multiple options at one go. Yet sometimes you can. But you need to know how many options there are - a much more difficult question. In any case, one at a time still works; it just takes a bit of effort.

This one is going to run and run. Not like me!

Whose fault is it anyway?

I've said that I'm a grumpy old man and I don't mind admitting it. When the programme is on the telly, my main reaction is not laughter but sage nodding, punctuated by the occasional shout of "Yes!".

I haven't found Grumpy Old Women (the programme again, let's be clear) generally as affirmative. Much of the first series I felt was very self-obsessed. The second series started on Friday and I felt more in tune with the content. However the participants placed a lot of blame specifically on men; while the GOMs never placed, to my recall, any blame on women. They (the GOWs) also raised the old tired and to my mind completely false theory that women are better at multi-tasking. I think I shall post on Great Myths of Our Time and this will be number one.

The above is, of course, merely a factual observation and no criticism at all can be inferred of any person or persons or group of persons. Perish the thought.

Xenophobia or incompetence

Used to be, in the good old days, that when a foreign act won Eurovision, they were on Top of the Pops the next week and the single was in the shops the week after, with English lyrics on the A-side and original lyrics on the B-side. Even ones that were nowhere near winners turned. I still have a copy of "Et Bonjour a Toi l'artiste", my favourite Euro song till now. It came nowhere.

So I went down the shops today to see if I could find a CD of the winner. Zip. Nada. Nothing. The nice man in the shop had the compilation with all the rest of the rubbish as well and his database had an album by Lordi - not including the Eurovision song.

Come on - where is it? Surely a marketing possibility. This is how Abba got started! Do we not care any more? Are we even less Euro-aware than ever?

So, anyone know how I can get hold of this song? (How can I not want a song called "Hard Rock Hallelujah"?)

Maybe a friendly techie with a CD burner can download and burn me a copy? Oh, and if you could stick a copy of the English entry on too, that would be just grand.

Gone fishing

Emotional wellbeing

I was away at the weekend so I only just watched the second part of the Cyberman story - and I'm aware that the picture opposite is from a parallel universe to Saturday's episode.

It's all about emotion. Some people might say "can't live with them, can't live without them". Emotions make us human but when we see ourselves as we are our emotions can kill us. Without our emotions we're effectively dead anyway.

Should we control our emotions? There are times to do so, but inhibition is not an option. We use our emotions. That can mean that they take over us from time to time - but never to the extent of damaging us. For our emotions give us hope.

My emotions make me stronger. If I feel then I can learn and grow. I can overcome. I will not be a robot.
Don't underestimate my strength and resilience. It lies not in discipline but in passion.

Much progress

A breakthrough was achieved when the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church .....

produced a joint statement saying that they could agree on the doctrine of justification.

Isn't this exciting!

What will they do next?

I'm waiting ...



I'm still waiting ....


Could be a while .....


Zzzzz .....




Perhaps the Catholic and Anglican churches can contribute?

No?

Oh well.

Let's rejoice in what ecumenical dialogue has achieved.

More irony

Why do you always get just what you want when you don't need it any more?

A few nuspeak slogans

Justice is Mercy.
Truth is Love.
Humility is Authority.
Anger is Passion.
Rebellion is Reflection.

with thanks to Donald.

A visit to Old Trafford

Prawn sandwiches in the directors' box. A thrilling history and an unbroken tradition of success. Memories of Best, Law, Busby. Champions' League Highlights. Playmaking skills of Rooney. Red wine. A day to remember. The Doc still to come.

I still appreciate The Blues. And then there's the Athletic.