Communion from First Principles

That was what Richard called it on Sunday. So we had no liturgy at all - we simply heard the familiar story retold in a fresh way (and one that followed on from the sermon, moreover - challenging about rules and regulations).

I do prefer it. I am sure not everybody who reads this will totally agree but I don't mind.

Book of the Year

More like book of the decade, or quarter-century actually ...

Read it on holiday (one afternoon, saved the end until the evening).

It's about destiny, its about choices, the ones you make and the ones you duck, it's about life and how to go through it. It's inspirational, it's thrilling, it's life changing.

I only just got to it, but if you can't take my word for it, then there's a review
here but don't bother reading the review, just get the book and read it.

Some more pictures

Another tradition to discard

According to Roots magazine, prayers of confession and penitence in a service of worship were not part of early Christian worship (1000 years!) and not even today part of Orthodox worship.

Tomorrow at Staple Hill we shall rediscover our roots. And think about what it implies for our daily lives.

New and improved - why can't they leave things alone?

Well it is more than two years since I got my reading glasses so I eventuallywent for the eye test they've been pressing me for since May. Yes, everything's fine thank you. Well apparently not quite (I think the difference is marginal, but I suppose she's the expert) so new glasses.

"What sort of frames would you like?"

(Firmly) "Same as last time, please." (Worth a try)

Types it in the computer.

Big red word in centre of screen DISCONTINUED What a surprise.

"Come and look at these." (Nice helpful assistant, don't get me wrong.)

Four columns of frames (all on special offer, well I suppose a partial result but talk about choice fatigue).

"Which do you like?"
"I don't know." (Well how do I know? They're not a fashion accessory, they're functional. I didn't know the first time two years ago and I still don't. I feel like saying "you choose". They turned out all right I think.)
"These are quite like the ones you had." (And they are)
"Fine, I'll have those." (She's vaguely disappointed I don't try them all on and then go back to the first ones, I think, but why bother?)

All right, things move on. We progress. But surely, surely, we change things because they're outdated, outmoded, technology's improved, some reason, not for the sake of it? If things were well designed two years ago why are they not well designed now? And if there are things nearly the same, why aren't they just the same? (Maybe the optician can see an improvement in the technology, but I wonder.)

"Do you want thinner lenses?"
"Do you think I should? What's your recommendation?"
I do like to ask the expert - she knows better than me. In the end we agreed to stick with the same as last time. Apparently it's a borderline decision.

I'm sure they'll be fine.

It's the same with shoes. And spatulas (no I won't tell the spatula story again). Just stop redesigning stuff that's already perfectly well designed. Then we can spend the time changing the stuff that really does need a makeover.

Who's a grumpy old man, then?

Gallery

Chicken-Little gets an education

One morning, Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Can I play in the garden?" But Mother-Hen said, "No, I want you to practise your counting." So Chicken-Little counted all day. By bedtime he had got to 42 and he was very tired.

The next morning Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Can I play in the garden today?" "No", said Mother-Hen, "we are going for a walk". And they walked and walked and got to the end of the garden. And Chicken-Little was very tired.

The next morning Chicken-Little said to Mother-Hen, "Will you teach me to read?" But Mother-Hen was too busy. So Chicken-Little went to Goosey-Gander and said, "Will you teach me to read?" And Goosey-Gander sat down and taught Chicken-Little the alphabet. And Chicken-Little was very tired.

The next day Chicken-Little went to stay with Busy-Badger and Daffy-Duck.

Angela's Joke

So we stopped at a service station in Germany on the way home and it's got its own little chapel. (Locked, mind you.) Is driving in Germany that scary? Why does the song Radar Love come into my mind? (Yeah all right maybe that's just every time I go on the autobahn - and then I think of Kraftwerk ...)

Anyway, Angela's joke: "It's a service station with its own service station!" Please yourself.

Perhaps we should have some in England. Like on the M1. Please God let the lunatics be going up the M6 today.

When is a tourist not a tourist?

When they become an attraction themselves.

We went for a "historic tram ride" in Prague to see the city by dusk. The wine flowed and the accordionist played. People looked to see where the music came from - that old thing? They were curious, astonished, puzzled, enraptured, hilarified (is that a word? It is now). Some took pictures of us!

The worshippers became the worshipped? Bit fanciful? Makes you think, though.

So Good to Be Back Home Again (The Tourists)

Seems an appropriate title.

12 days.
2512 miles (from Calais to Calais).
7 countries.
4 currencies.
Much beer.

Languages? ah.
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who only speaks one language? English.
What a relief to be back in a place where everyone speaks the same number as you. With magnificent memories, pictures, images. (which will appear eventually)

So we tried (in no particular order): gulasch soup, nurnberg sausages, chicken with ham and cheese Slovakian style, fried goose liver (delicacy - yum) and lots of stuff that we don't really know what it was but it slipped down all the same.

Explore new places. Whatever it costs.

Travels Far Afield

When I go to different places I like to eat the local speciality (most of the time).

In France I have had snails and frogs' legs and I drank French wine.
In Spain I ate black paella and drank red wine. Tapas and cerveza at midnight.
In Portugal, lobster and red wine. Tomatoes.
Belgium, mussels in white wine and Stella.

Italy! Pasta, pizza, ice cream and beer (Italian lunch - one ice-cream, one beer.)
Germany, sausages, white wine, beer (not all together). Not keen on sauerkraut.
Norway, smoked fish, smoked cheese and, er, beer.
Austria, strudel, germ-knudel (not sure about spelling), beer (hey).
Switzerland, fondue.

America, steak and potatoes separately. Eggs sunny side up.
Scotland, haggis and chips with sal'n'sos (couldn't find a deepfried Mars bar). Iron Brew (and beer). Drambuie. Decided against a white wine spritzer.
Oz - the barby and the tinnies!
Uganda fried green bananas and stew. ("meat")

So, goulash, Czech beer, strudel - what's the national dish of Slovakia?

Moving on is exciting. New ways, new friends.

Bits I didn't cut from my essays

[The Church of South India] accepted the historic episcopate as necessary for the shepherding of the Church.

(about the CSI) "What began as a genuine union ... has become ... an Anglican church. There is little of Methodism, Presbyterianism, or Congregationalism left in the CSI except in memory.

Another view: episcopacy was not scriptural and therefore unacceptable.

... unity talks are certainly no longer a priority, probably unnecessary and even counter-productive. The evidence is that they distract from mission and take energy away from real ecumenical initiatives

.... there existed an order of Jewish priests in the Old Testament ... [but] no-one is advocating a hereditary order of Methodist presbyters ...

... there is no priestly caste, ( first published in Clause 4 of the Deed of Union, 1932: " ... no priesthood differing in kind from that which is common to all people ...")

Let us celebrate the past, without feeling that it must be recreated in the present or the future.

My New Hero

Alexander Kilham

Bits I cut from my essays

Traditions; any large organisation has an inertia, the result of which is to discourage change until a strong weakness is seen.

(of the unity scheme in the 1960s) If the reconciliation service was not in fact a re-ordination then it achieved nothing and was therefore pointless.

"They protest against submitting ... to the unlimited authority of the preachers ... there has been no instance in the history of the Christian church in which spiritual tyranny has not been fatal to the interests of religion, the character of its ministers and privileges of the people." (Wesleyan Protestant Methodists, Tenth Point, c.1828)

There was also a quote which I can't find again amounting to: "How can you take a twentysomething young man, give him three or four years' ministerial training and expect that to last him through his career?" (written before there were female ministers).

The love that dare not speak its name

In musical terms this is progressive rock (prog). Prog hasn't been cool since 1967. John Peel said ELP were "a waste of electricity". He was (as quite often) wrong. (I'm not a fan of Genesis, Yes, Marillion, though.)

But since Q has this month a feature on "guilty pleasures" (things that you like, that are good even though they aren't cool) I admit to buying the greatest hits of Focus. Double CD. No vocals (apart from the yodelling). Eight minute keyboard solos. Intricate guitar work. Fantastic. So you don't want it all the time, but sometimes it's great.

Sometimes you like simplicity as well. Also acquired this weekend The Bravery (self-titled album). Like The Strokes with keyboards, Keane with a backbeat (and better obviously). An Honest Mistake is obviously the best track but the rest grows on you.

Where was I?

Guilty pleasures in worship?

Pedantry rules, is that all right with you?

Thanks to Lynne Truss and others more attention is being given to punctuation and spelling. Syntax even gets a look in. So this is for the forgotten triplet, semantics.

So many times have I seen the wrong one from "principal" and "principle" selected that I have to check myself every time. The most amusing (?) example was on a letter from the General Teachers' Council (great was the rejoicing when the NASUWT finally got the apostrophe in the right place in that one, forgive the tangent) to a principal, with the wrong word used in the address line. Wish I'd kept a copy.

More usually though it's a word or phrase with the wrong meaning. "Catch-22" is not the same as a "no-win situation" but you'd certainly think so from its usual usage. "Enormity" - even on the BBC news - where the word is "magnitude" or even "enormousness" (yes you can create words in a living language). A tsunami is not an enormity as it is not an evil act. And others have spoken about that flipping woman and her "ironic" song so we won't go on about it here. Actually I guess you can sing it ironically.

There is however one TV detective who attempts to use language correctly. Sadly it is not Inspector Linley who completely gratuitously and totally erroneously just said "beg the question".

Bring back Mayo!

Chain of Circumstance

Funny how things turn out. When we moved down here I wasn't getting my gaming fix anymore. So I saw a small listing in an irregular small-circulation magazine about a "Hobbymeet". The phone number didn't work so I worked out what day it should be on and just turned up on the far side of Bristol not knowing anyone there. Which was a bit of a surprise to an established group who'd forgotten all about the listing - since they hadn't heard of the mag it was in, because it had just taken the listing from another one.

Anyway the gaming community made me welcome, even though I barely knew what a fanzine was.

Years later and I am a stalwart of the group, to the extent that Bill and I were this month's group - the tradition being maintained by a game of Mykenos (excellent).

Of such chances and chains are communities built. There's a sermon here somewhere. Go and write it.

Born Too Late

They Don't Write Them Like That Anymore:

You don't hear many songs these days about a girl's love for an older man. In fact I wondered again what the reaction would be if it came out today?

From the other side:

When You Ask About Love - The Crickets.

An oldie but goodie

I am reminded of the old joke, "What's the difference between a minister and a Local Preacher?"

A minister is paid to be good and a Local Preacher is good for nothing.

Many a true word spoken in jest.

Another day, another thousand words

I just hope that they say something sensible and acceptable. And just what do you put in a bibliography anyway?

We built this city

Music for different moods. I was still playing soca/cumbia in the car this afternoon in the middle of a downpour (tropical monsoon?) - but that's really lazy sunny music.

So on the way back with no sun to be seen I changed to the Born to be Wild compilation. Still the best when it's grey outside. There's a reason why Britain produces the best driving rock.

Track 2 We Built This City on Rock n Roll. Of course we did.

Ordinary or extra-ordinary

Wesley understood the need for both. But is the ordinary the enemy of the extra-ordinary?

The wonder of creation

I thought it was time for a picture.

The Original Crazy Diamond

Last night BBC repeated the documentary about Syd Barrett to mark his passing.

Marvellous quote from it, "Nutters have moments of clarity, all the time. They see things sometimes more clearly then most of us do." Quite.

Goodbye Syd.

Mercury

1. An element, the only common metal liquid at room temperatures, freezes easily, extremely toxic. Slightly volatile at room temperature. Also called quicksilver. Has many uses.

2. The nearest planet to the Sun.
Mercury was named by the Romans after the fleet-footed messenger of the gods because it seemed to move more quickly than any other planet.

3. The Roman god of merchandise, theft, and eloquence, messenger of the gods. The swiftest of the Gods. A precocious youth. To the Babylonians he was viewed as the bearer of riches. To the astrologers of the Renaissance he was the bringer of misfortune.

Mercurial, adj. having the qualities attributed to persons born under the planet - eloquent etc; active, sprightly, often changing; temperamental, volatile.

Helping Yourself

What's the difference between Bible classes and Bible study?

In one case you have to go to a lot of boring meetings.

Colours of day

The minister covers what remains of the elements with a white cloth.

Well, to me of course that's like a red rag to a bull, if you'll pardon the phrase (what's the opposite of a pun?) I mean the use of the descriptor, white. Why white?

Presumably it's symbolic, but of what? White represents purity and innocence. It can represent life, and also death (which is why John is wearing a white suit on the cover of Abbey Road, of course). Does white mean all these in this case, and are there others?

I understand that at Conference this year they used a tartan cloth - to celebrate being in Scotland, or to emphasis a Methodist service? Great.

So I wondered if we should have different colours at different times of year, like in the vestments etc. Blood-red in Lent? Now there would be a powerful symbol that would bring us up. Easter Day - white edged in gold? purple (for kingship?).

Other suggestions?

Less is more

If you can say it in four words why use four hundred?

Thank God for the weather

I love the hot sun. Lazy hazy days. Yes, the rain is good too, but the sun is happy. Enjoy it while it lasts. Tomorrow may be something else.

Blogger Support Network

OK so I've been a bit slow on this one, and only saw the story today on Ceefax. This is the new homepage of La Petite Anglaise who has been sacked by her employers for keeping a blog which "might" lead them to be identified. Now of course she and they are all over the media.

Competition Time - The Shortest Sermon in the World

Here is my entry, to be delivered this Sunday at Watley's End and Zion:

"What time is it?"

That is not the title - it is the sermon.

Since there should be space in the service, I shall also be delivering my second entry:

"Is that the time?"

Further entries welcome, but I'm not promising a prize, only glory.

Cinderella fella

Did you ever want to start a fire but all you were allowed to do was rake over the ashes?

Crisis Management

Well this week I was going to do a series of thoughtful posts on science and theology but again I've reached a crisis point. Fortunately I have a lot of people who help me out of them when I can't see where to go. It's going to be a little while yet though until the nails have all been cleared up. Normal service will be resumed ... sometime. Or maybe this is normal service?

Text, pretext and context

Well I was going to write something about quoting random fragments of Scripture out of context and ladling meaning into them to support whatever argument you wish to espouse, but someone's beaten me to it. So I suggest you just go to this comment to see the counter-blast well stated. Saved me a job anyway.

Late Arrivals at the University Ball

Please welcome the Dhin brothers from India:

the successful essay writer Handidi Dhin, and the less successful Chukhdi.

I thang you.

(If you don't understand this you haven't listened to enough editions of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. Get online or to BBC7 and do so.)

Let's work together

My post counter tells me this is my 100th post, so I thought I'd do something really powerful, exceptional, important. But I can't think of anything so I'll have to settle for something at least serious.

Every week almost I read about the "science-religion conflict". Well I can't speak for what some "scientists" and some "religious types" do, but I insist there is no conflict between science and theology. And since I do both in my limited way, I am passionate about this.

Are not both "science" and "theology" attempts to find the truth? Truth is truth and none of your post-modernist metanarrative rubbish, please. Any perceived conflict must therefore be due to doing bad science or bad theology, or I guess both. They may work in apparently different styles - the experiments are not quite like each other all the time - and in different areas. But both are rational. Both observe and construct theories. Which are subject to analysis. To see if they contradict observed facts (experience of God is a fact, although of a different sort and subject to careful scrutiny).

In fact I assert that by any normal meaning of the word "science" (like knowledge) then theology is a science. So are philosophy, metaphysics, history (all about causation), psychology and you can go on. Some of them we call inexact, forgetting how inexact the cutting edge of theoretical physics can be. Inexactness is not a problem - declaring something exact when it is inexact is the root of trouble, because it's bad science.

Finding the truth is bad enough without your fellow-seekers slagging you off.

What's the time?

There is a season.

A time to be born, a time to die.
A time to plant, a time to reap.
A time to kill, a time to heal.
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

A time to build up, a time to break down.
A time to dance, a time to mourn.
A time to cast away stones.
A time to gather stones together.

A time of love, a time of hate.
A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace.
A time to refrain from embracing.
A time to gain, a time to lose.
A time to rend, a time to sow.
A time for love, a time for hate.
A time for peace.

Words as adapted by Pete Seeger in Turn, Turn, Turn! from Ecclesiastes.

Is that the time?

Odd one out

This is called having too much of a good thing. It's fun to be different. It's not so much fun when it's all the time. Sometimes you need a bit of support in it.

It's not really about the World Cup, honest

Catching up on Telegraph articles about England's "failure" (hey they got into the last 8 in the world!) there are contained therein numerous references to "the golden generation" and at least one to "the golden child" (who I think is Rooney although that was in an article about Beckham) leading them.
It's the first time I'd seen it so explicitly stated but only I think because I don't read the football pages very often really - and I'm sure I've heard it on the telly. Before the contest - long before.

You can't do that. Mustn't.

You cannot give that sort of tag to anyone in preview. You might do it in retrospect when you can dispassionately analyse and reflect. (If that's possible in football writing.) Be sure even then.

It asks too much. Whatever potential you think you may have spotted, whatever skills you think may have been displayed in lesser situations, you cannot put that pressure on anyone. Because then they can only "fail". They cannot succeed. Nothing will satisfy. Win the Cup once and you'll be asked to do it again (or better) - until it is impossible.

Talent, where it exists, still has to be nurtured. Yes it has to be challenged, or the step to the big league cannot be made - and it is the WORLD Cup - but you have to help it develop on the way. It might develop in ways you did not expect, or want. It may be that the midfield runner can play alone up front - but it has to be trained. And if it can't go in one direction then you help it to work out its destiny in whatever way is best for the subject, not you, and not force it into prior and premature patterns. But if you expect automatic success, if you think you can force a mould, you are guaranteed disappointment all round. No-one can predict the future. To even conceive of a phrase like "golden generation" is dangerous. To mention it - to anyone - is fatal. To let the subject hear it is catastrophic.

Gold is precious. Don't drop it.

One year on

This is a difficult one but you get nowhere by not tackling the difficult ones.

Rageh Omaar has a good piece in today's New Statesman about how the media doesn't engage with Muslims except on a certain tack, and then I saw the headlines in some of the redtops (which I don't read): "Unbeaten", "No Surrender".

Well, understandable, and true I suppose but just a bit forceful/antagonistic? How do British Muslims feel when they see that? If "Let's sit down and talk" is perhaps a bit far then maybe we could have managed "We Will remember"?

In the spotlight?

A propos of the previous post, it suddenly occurs to me: to date all those reading this blog have known me (at least as far as I'm aware) and can make allowances. Now I've opened myself up to a wider audience.

I shall have to be more careful what I say.

Methodists communication shocker

Well I finally got to look at TheConnexion.Net that Angela pointed out to me, and since they've put a link to my blog (with a very kind post on Richard's personal blog), I've started a new links section on the right called Methodists on the Net and given them pride of place. Check them out - and you can ask to join too!

Essay writing

Here are some useful phrases and their translations.

Quote: "There are many references in the literature .."
Translation: "I can't find them"

Q: "More research could be done ..."
T: "I couldn't be bothered"

Q: "There is a more modern view..."
T: "I haven't read anything published since 1965"

Q: "Some hold the view that .."
T: "My mate down the pub says ..."

Q: "This is a very complex question"
T: "I don't understand it"

Q: "A complete theory has yet to be formulated"
T: "Nor does anyone else"

Q: "This question is beyond the scope of the brief."
T: "Phew."

Q: "It follows that..."
T: "It doesn't follow, I'm busking it."

and some scentific/mathematical ones:

Q: "Exercise for the student"
T: "You're on your own"

Q: "Clearly"
T: "A few lines of algebra and you should be convinced"

Q: "It turns out that ..."
T: "Several pages of very messy algebra have been omitted. Best of luck in reconstructing them."

World Cup Reflections - hey it's popular culture, all right?

Two contrasting thoughts.

Before them though I have to admit that I thought from watching the group games that the final was likely to be Brazil v Argentina. Shows what I know. (Not that I was alone in such a belief - come in, The Telegraph.)

Someone at church today said that after the Portugal game she saw the newsreader on TV throw his England flag in the bin. She thought that was wrong, and I agree with her. If we have allegiance to someone or some group or some concept or whatever then we do not abandon him/her/it/them just because they are not a "winner". For that is not the Gospel and it is not even pragmatic secular. It encourages the wrong attitude ("win at all costs") and it fails to give support where needed. The great thing about the English support this World Cup is that even though the team has not played well, the fans continued to turn up and sing their hearts out in support. They were loyal. Loyalty should not be blind but is also not easily disposable.

On the other hand:

England have in truth not looked like they were capable of or deserving of winning the World Cup in any of their five games. Talk about unfulfilled promise. So a 1-0 win is a win and you are allowed some - but sooner or later you have to play well. So maybe with all the (metaphorical and literal) flag-waving in the press and the substantial hype about their chances, they felt under too great a pressure to achieve that they could not perform - they looked like frozen rabbits at times - and that stopped them. Or maybe the pressure to justify their salaries (I wouldn't mind that sort of pressure for a bit) , or ... Sometimes they look like they are just waiting for an excuse to lose. Player sent off, jinx coach opposite, can't win penalty shootouts ... (and we must counter here the argument that "the law of averages says they must win one" - it says no such thing). How many excuses are sufficient?

So you ask: why did they not perform? Portugal were beatable. If England had been two up, and probably if one up, when Rooney was sent off they would still have won - but for those 62 minutes he was on the field they barely looked like scoring. An organisation with such stage-fright has to be questioned as to its belief, effort and tactics. And whether the ability is as great as stated. Do any other organisations seem to achieve less success than they might be expected to? Do they look like they are using convenient excuses for lack of success?

Master and Servant

There liveth at that time a man who though his dwelling and attire be passing well appointed, yet his heart was empty, though he knoweth it not. And there cometh to his door a visitor who desireth to serve and he knocketh on the door, which when it openeth unto him, he saith to the owner "I have come because I desire to minister to you for I can see that your heart is sore. I shall be your servant and you shall be my master and this is my wish." And the owner, touched by the generosity of the offer, inviteth the stranger in and saith "I shall beyour master and you shall be my servant. Welcome."

So the servant taketh his position and looketh after the master and prepareth meals and keepeth the dwelling tidy and in this wise careth for the master. And the master's heart was eased and even strangely warmed for the relationship it was a good one and benefitteth both parties. And it came that the master saith to himself "I have received so much from my servant and it is not right that I give nothing in return." So he calleth the servant and he saith "Look here is a space which shall be yours for you have been faithful and true to your word and the servant is worthy of his hire." And he gaveth the servant to have his own bedroom and study for his comfort. And their relationship grew further harmonious and both prospered.

And the master saith again "I shall pay you, my servant, that you feel worthy and that your apparel may be a sign that you are hardworking and I shall no longer call you servant but butler." And it pleaseth the servant to be so honoured and valued and he was continual diligent. And some looketh on and marvelled.

But the honour given to the butler he felt not to be as great as that which the master possesseth and the butler, though he continue to serve at table, feeleth that he too was needy and he sneaketh sips of wine from the master's cellar when unobserved. And the master realiseth not and yet he wondereth that he had partaken so much. And the butler cometh to the master and saith "I could serve you better yet if you would allow me to do so, but it requires some investment. For in order to study correctly how best I may serve you I need some space and support and several more rooms, even unto the size of four." And the master seeth the logic and constructeth an extension being a whole new wing and an en-suite for the private use of the butler only, even though the cost was considerable and his resources were diminished thereby.

And the butler cometh again and addresseth the master thus "It seems to me that I am now more than a butler to you for I have all your interests at heart, and should I be given a new title?" And the master respondeth "You shall be called estate manager and I shall pay you accordingly for you have all my best interests at heart and whatever costs you have I shall cover them." And yet he goeth away and gaveth off a great sigh. For it seemeth to him that events overtaketh him and the financial burden it groweth larger and larger but his heart now vex him sore from time to time. For the master seeth how the estate manager now finely dresseth himself in comparison; and yet he remembereth all that had been given and he was still grateful
for all the past times. But the relationship between the twain now straineth a tiny bit. And indeed the expenses groweth further and more than the master had projected.

And then the day cometh when the estates manager cometh to the master (for he had become bold in manner) and saith "The costs continue to mount and I need an 8% increase to continue to manage my affairs." And the master taketh down the 12-bore shotgun from above the mantel-piece and he loadeth it and he giveth the estates manager both barrels full in the chest so that he lieth at his feet. And the master saith "There's an end of that", and he throweth the body into the street as a warning for all. And he putteth a sign on the outside of his house which saith

NO SERVANTS WANTED. KEEP AWAY.

And he liveth many long years more and though he yearneth inwardly yet he never forgetteth the servant who became a butler and finally a manager.

The Man in the Grey Suit - a cautionary tale

There was a man who used to wear an old grey suit. One of his friends suggested he could try something different, so he went out and bought a nice blue jacket. But on the first day that he wore it, somebody said they thought it was a bit too bright, and in order not to offend, he put it away for another day.

But that night he died, and some of his friends said it was a pity. Others though said that although it was a loss, they felt it should have happened earlier anyway because he was too conscious of standing out. And they went out and painted a rainbow.

The Last Supper

I wonder how it was set out?

LOL

A few programmes have made me laugh out loud when on my own:

Bottom
Men Behaving Badly
Grumpy Old Men
Green Wing

and the daddy of them all:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.

Lots of fun in "One song to the Tune of Another".

This week:
Rob Brydon singing "Killing Me Softly With His Song" to the tune "The Bare Necessities".
Graeme Garden singing "Blowin' in the Wind" to the tune "Daytrip to Bangor"

Sadly no Jeremy Hardy. If you've heard me sing, you'll understand why I appreciate Jeremy so much.

Wish You Were Here

Now there's an ambiguous phrase if you like. Like the Spanish inquisition, every time I think I've counted the number of meanings I get another one. So these are not numbered.

It can be what postcards purport to be - I'm having a really good time and I think you'd like it too - a gift.
One step down: is I'm having a pretty good time, but something is missing, and it's you. Then it would be perfect. Yearning.
Further down is: I'm having a poor time but you would perhaps make it bearable. Alienation and loneliness but could be tinged with (faint) hope.
A bit more sardonic is: I'm having a poor time and you might as well be as miserable as me.
And of course: wish you were here and wish I wasn't. Which can have two versions, depending whether you think the addressee would like it.

Roger Waters seems to start in the third one, addressing Syd, but by side two (sorry, habit) is somewhere in the last phase, addressing - who knows. Hopelessness and possible paranoia.

What did you mean last time you used it? And who did you talk to? God?

Working for God

The Methodist Church - and maybe others - majors heavily on the idea of "call". All of us who are preachers have spoken of our call, in private, in public, on various occasions, and maybe on how the call has changed over time. And we love to hear of others' call. Not only preachers, of course.

I think we have missed a trick. Sometimes the appropriate term is not "called" but "sent". This sounds more dangerous than it is, for although it implies distance and separation from God, you find when you get there (and we all feel like Jonah sometimes) that God is waiting for you at the other end. All you have to do is find him/her.

The Man in Black

He is an iconic figure. His presence, his silhouette, his shadow, even the threat of his presence, can dominate a landscape or scene. He is symbolic. He sends a chill down your spine.

He can be a villain but that is mostly too obvious. He is an enigmatic figure for he is an outsider. He is a brooding, mysterious character. Even if he laughs, beware, for it is not always what it may seem. What does he want? Why is he there? Will he disrupt or enhance? Will he stay or go? For he can suddenly disappear, leaving only the ghost, the whisper of his otherness.

But it may be otherwise. Jerome K Jerome eloquently explained how we are what we eat and so we can also be what we wear. Maybe the man in black is driven by his appearance rather than the driver of it. He acts the way he does because of his look and feels a slave to it. Why he did choose to wear black? This is the question that must be answered, for it is key. Understand that to understand all.

The man who took off his hat

A man went and bought a new hat to see what it would look like. It was an odd feeling at first and he wasn't sure whether it really fit, and whether he actually liked it, but he persevered and grew to feel comfortable in it. And people began to recognise his new look and eventually to know him by his hat. He felt meanwhile that his hat was part of him and reflected who he was. He certainly noticed that people treated him differently from how they had before he started wearing it - a few didn't like it and wanted him to stop, and a few treated him worse, but on the whole he got on better with those he met.

But he wondered after a while whether folk only saw the hat, although he still felt comfortable in it. And he wondered what would happen if he took his hat off - how would he feel? So one day he took his hat off. It felt distinctly odd, and some folk didn't seem to recognise him any more, but despite all that he felt oddly liberated. He felt excited and confused together and those who knew him sensed it too. Some worried about him, and some encouraged him, and some wanted him to put that hat straight back on, and some didn't know how to advise him (but some did anyway). So he had to have a serious think.

Should he go back to wearing the familiar hat? Would it be the same?
Should he wear it only sometimes? What would people think? Would they recognise him?
Was the hat too old to wear, and should he buy a new one, or simply go without for a bit?

Ichthus

I don't normally race to read it, but for some reason did today. Wow. Bit curious though.

First article starts "If you ask most students about theological College ..." ! - but that's only the hook. And though it purports to be about prayer it seems to be more about sermons. So that one threw me for a loop.

And page 19 (by P. Johnson!) starts about hymn-sandwiches, but finishes about liturgy and read prayers! (a little harshly here and there on the latter). I do agree with him on meditation, though.

OK I know when I'm being got at.

Reflections on alternative worship

I've had a bit of time to think, but these thoughts are still to some extent "work in progress".

I enjoyed the service. That's the only bit here that's meant to be evaluative, but it's worth saying first.

I wonder if I need a bit of practice at getting as much as I can out of this sort of service. Specifically I wonder if I tried to do too much - in that in the time available I tried to go round every station, not necessarily to spend equal time at each but to value each, and I don't think I had enough time at every place. I probably could have spent twice as long at most of them.

In the order I visited:

The hotel room I take to be about loneliness and alienation, but there's something else which I haven't quite verbalised.
I placed myself on the physical map and looked at the old map, wondering at its value. I did write something about this station at the signpost.
At the tent I remembered a gift from God and a place at which it "was received".
The camper van told me about how we treat those who travel, but I think there's more.
At the signpost I read others' messages but can't now remember any - and I think some were helpful. I hope mine was. The signpost is perhaps a bit obvious as a symbol and too familiar (or current) for new reflection.
The cairn was a puzzle. I don't recall clearly what it said. And I had definitely run out of time at the end.

The blues song was good to finish, but I didn't get much from the readings - again perhaps too familiar? Couldn't manage the fresh eyes needed. I was challenged by writing on the tape. I may have taken this one too literally.

I'm still in a place where I'm more comfortable with more input, or maybe a particular form of same. We'll see. Like eating rich food when you're used to simple fare? Or nouvelle cuisine compared with a trencherman's usual?

Introduction Needed

I need to meet someone. No not that sort of someone. It occurs to me that I know a Hope and a Charity, but I need to get to know a Faith to complete the set.

I also know a Grace and a Verity, and a Joy. Perhaps a Makepeace?

I know an Angel and at least one Michael, so a Gabriel would be good. Or a Raphael.

At College I know David and Jonathan.

I could probably do with a Patience and a Prudence, too.

Cairns

This is a story about a man who used to take stones and use them to make little cairns. He spent quite some time learning and practising and became quite good at it. People used to admire his little cairns, for they were carefully constructed, and even sometimes they made special trips to see them. He even taught other people to construct them and they became quite good too, for he could explain the techniques involved. And lots of people liked the cairns even though they were so numerous.

But he became aware that the cairns were at heart all the same even though they could be painted differently. So he enquired and discovered that there were other shapes that could be made. Someone showed him how to make a pyramid, and then a wall, and someone else showed him smaller versions and finally he saw that you could make attractive patterns out of the stones without all the complications of building. And suddenly he didn't want to make any more cairns. But that was what he was good at. So what did he do?

From Paul's letter to the new professionals

.... The team is a unit, though it is made up of many parts. If the central defender should say, "Because I am not a holding midfield, I do not need to work for the team" it would not for that reason not have to work for the team. And if the striker should say "Because I am not an attacking midfield, I do not have to beat a man", it would not for that reason have the right to complain when it gets substituted. If the whole team were a central midfield pretending to be a back four then it would struggle to beat Trinidad and Tobago. In fact Sven has arranged the parts of the team but somehow the message has not come through and the team likes to go its own way and play 4-5-1 hit and hope rather than diamond formation. Some of the members of the team are given special glory and the rest of the team have to accept that and work a bit harder rather than shooting from 35 yards out. There should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other for if one part suffers the team gets stuffed by the first decent opposition it encounters. If one part is honoured you all get to ride on the bus with him. Eagerly desire the greater gifts of passing, running, beating a man and getting to the byeline .

Now I will show you the more excellent way. Argentina 6 Serbia and Montenegro 0 ...."

Here ends the lesson.

Another Prayer Answered

I now have a CD of "Hard Rock Hallelujah", courtesy of Virgin Megastore. Played it all the way home.

Today's discussion point

I'm back to talking about church rather than God I'm afraid, but it wasn't my choice.

The question posed today in the presentation about Fresh Expressions was "What is a church?"

I fear I may be at variance with mainstream thinking, so before I reveal my answer (or lack of one) I wondered if anyone else would like to kick off?

Shoop to the King

OK, I wasn't going to do this, as I intended this prayer as an ephemeral experience, but there seems to be some interest. This is "Shoop to the King" as delivered yesterday. I don't think it's as good on paper as performed live but at least it's something. Gary suggested an audio file but I think there would be a copyright issue. It was performed to Guru's instrumental version of "Shoop" - track 5 on my CD. Details below.

Now I'm gonna tell you all 'bout a man I know,
I know He died for me and I owe him so
He's the best, he's the King, rules on high, he's the Lord of Lords
I gotta give him the glory with all my words
Words, words are not enough to strut all his stuff so
I tell you stories his glory the more is -
Where to begin? It begins with him this creation would not be
Beautifully given to you and to me the flower and the tree
And all the creatures features preachers need to see
How many ways we are blessed greatly caressed given rest
So look around the world use your ears and eyes
Think about the man what he's done for you
Give him the praise that is truly due
Seraphim and cherubim they sing he is holy holy
Wholly present where we are in his name no shame no blame
I wanna shoop

Shoop shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop
Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

Now you all know Him yes I know you do
So join in the shoop with me and you can bless him too
He hears our prayer and he knows our minds
We don't need words and we don't need rhymes
We bless him now and all the time in all we say and do
He's here right now for he said he would be
Just like in those days when he walked ate slept wept kept
obedient to the task we ask can we be the same spread his fame
All across the world to boys and girls women and men and then
His kingdom grows sometimes slow it flows against the tide
But the vict'ry's won it's gonna come just like the sun
Scatters the dark of night brings light fight the good fight it's right
To wanna shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

So let me get back to the subject look at the text what's next
He was walking by and Johnny said
The Lamb of God who will save the dead
By grace and love and his almighty power
…….
But the power's not in guns and not in fear it's in love
Strength and humility last shall be first suffering servant
On your mark get set go let's go let's shoop
To all God's child'n we pray and praise
Tell of the truth and hope in the Gospel story
Feed his lambs tend his sheep and keep them safe in peace
Lie down by the pool that's still and clear it's clear
There's a better way for lives to go no drugs no show
It's simple all you need to do is shoop
To shoop shoop shoop

Shoop ba-doop

There's more to this story than can ever be told
He gave us his Spirit so we don't get cold
We have to wake up be like Smyrna a learner fire burner
Brand that is blazing setting fire lift the cross higher
Put the lamp on the stand so it can be seen
Now I ask you do you know what I mean
When I say I wanna shoop?

This is based on "Shoop" by Salt'n'Pepa and I owe a debt to Salt not only for the lyrics I borrowed but for general inspiration.
"Shoop" is written by Sparks, James , Denton and Roberts, and is copyright London Records 1993. My copy is on ffrrr and the number is FCD219.
It is also available on the album "Very Necessary".


I should record here my general appreciation of Salt'n'Pepa (and Spinderella). As a rule, I have no time for rap and these three young ladies are actually the only hip-hop artistes I rate and certainly the only ones I have bought. But I do rate them very highly, not least for their sense of humour, and I have all their albums and the vast majority of singles. (I may have missed the odd one.) They have given me many hours of listening pleasure. Check them out.

Great Myths of Our Time

As promised a few to go on with.

1. The Seventies were The Decade that Taste Forgot (that would be the Eighties).

2. Dr Who is a children's programme (that would be Star Trek).

3. England have a team of world-class players. (Not really fair - there is enough material for a separate list of Great Football Myths of which this is merely the leading contender. Maybe even of Great English Football Myths.)

Shoop

I wanna shoop.

Live.

The Ritual of Preaching

Not technically exact, but hey. After a quarter off, I remind myself today of the excitement of THE NEW PLAN. The ritual goes:

1. Get Plan. Rip envelope open.
Next steps muxt be done immediately regardless of context.
2. Scan hurriedly for name.
3. Scan in detail for name and ring all occurrences of same. Count. Double check (vital - once I didn't do it).
4. Transcribe immediately into diary.
5. Check no problem with dates.

Steps 4 and 5 are equally as vital as 3.

As Tutor there is an extra section:
6. Check for all Preachers in training, putting star by names on Plan.

(By this point, there are nearly more additions than original.)

7. Reflect, work out logistics (8 appointments!?), decide when sermons will be written. Have 4 ideas (all of which will mercifully be forgotten within days). Begin to consider contacting preachers to hear trainees. (Forget and redo in panic in three weeks.)

It's good to talk.

Obsession

Sample conversation:

Q: What are you going to be doing on (random date)?
P: Watching the World Cup
Q: I didn't think England were playing on (that date)?
P: They aren't
Q: So why is it important?
P: It's the WORLD CUP.

Well, it's as accurate as the report of the conversation Jesus had with Nicodemus.

So far I've seen the whole of the first four games and at least half of each of the next four. This is low by normal standards. IT'S THE WORLD CUP. All right, I'll stop shouting. But how many times do you get to see Poland play Ecuador? Not many. So I'm watching the World Cup. Usually I cancel my social life for a month; it's more difficult to arrange this time. Even though it's the World Cup.

Shouldn't you be spending time with God? I bet he's watching too (and without foreknowledge - ruins a game). Who does He support? Well if He's unlucky He supports England too - but I doubt it. As a supporter of the beautiful, probably Italy or Portugal - and if England can't win it, then one of these two will do fine.

But while we're waiting for the result, I might be a bit distracted. If I appear so, I'm probably wondering how Spain are getting on against the Ukraine, or whether South Korea can surprise France. Or whether Sven can get his tactics right. Or calculating how many points we want Italy to get so that they don't meet England in the quarter-finals. Or just dreaming ...

It's good to talk

.... and it's even better to have friends who will listen and respond, and are not afraid to offer suggestions and constructive criticism.

I am especially blessed in having several of these. No names, because you know who you are.

Accept this generalised thank-you in lieu of all the times I forget to say it directly.

(Curious counterpoint to the previous post, eh?)

Being Quiet

Contrary to some people's opinion, I don't have any trouble being quiet on occasion. But what I desire from others when I'm quiet varies. Sometimes I'm quiet to loud music, and I mean loud. Sometimes I'm quiet to music that's not so loud - though rarely quiet music, if you get my meaning.

Words are more tricky. An impetus can be valuable. Silence can be helpful. What is less useful to thought is being given the answers all neatly wrapped up. It leaves you nothing to do. (If you're not then going to act immediately, anyway.)

So when you've got me started, then consider stopping yourself. We can comfortably co-exist in a shared silence.

And of course if you've got nothing to say, then don't say it. I remember the definition of circumlocution:

Circumlocution: A literary device by which the writer with nothing to say breaks this news gently to the reader. (Ambrose Bierce.)

Many paths at the crossroads

Mark talked about this. How do you know which is the correct way? Sometimes it isn't clear which is the narrow path.

There used to be an old logic puzzle about the island of liars and truth-tellers where you have two paths to choose from and you are only allowed to ask one question - but you don't know which tribe your responder belongs too.

When you've worked out or been told that one - and it crops up all over the place so I'm not revealing it here - you get asked what appears to be a harder puzzle which is how you choose correctly with multiple (in mathematical terms, n) options.

Actually this one is easier. In fact it's blindingly simple, but after the first puzzle you look for something too complicated. You do it by elimination (and that doesn't quite give the solution away if you want to think about it).


In real life it's sometimes difficult to eliminate multiple options at one go. Yet sometimes you can. But you need to know how many options there are - a much more difficult question. In any case, one at a time still works; it just takes a bit of effort.

This one is going to run and run. Not like me!

Whose fault is it anyway?

I've said that I'm a grumpy old man and I don't mind admitting it. When the programme is on the telly, my main reaction is not laughter but sage nodding, punctuated by the occasional shout of "Yes!".

I haven't found Grumpy Old Women (the programme again, let's be clear) generally as affirmative. Much of the first series I felt was very self-obsessed. The second series started on Friday and I felt more in tune with the content. However the participants placed a lot of blame specifically on men; while the GOMs never placed, to my recall, any blame on women. They (the GOWs) also raised the old tired and to my mind completely false theory that women are better at multi-tasking. I think I shall post on Great Myths of Our Time and this will be number one.

The above is, of course, merely a factual observation and no criticism at all can be inferred of any person or persons or group of persons. Perish the thought.

Xenophobia or incompetence

Used to be, in the good old days, that when a foreign act won Eurovision, they were on Top of the Pops the next week and the single was in the shops the week after, with English lyrics on the A-side and original lyrics on the B-side. Even ones that were nowhere near winners turned. I still have a copy of "Et Bonjour a Toi l'artiste", my favourite Euro song till now. It came nowhere.

So I went down the shops today to see if I could find a CD of the winner. Zip. Nada. Nothing. The nice man in the shop had the compilation with all the rest of the rubbish as well and his database had an album by Lordi - not including the Eurovision song.

Come on - where is it? Surely a marketing possibility. This is how Abba got started! Do we not care any more? Are we even less Euro-aware than ever?

So, anyone know how I can get hold of this song? (How can I not want a song called "Hard Rock Hallelujah"?)

Maybe a friendly techie with a CD burner can download and burn me a copy? Oh, and if you could stick a copy of the English entry on too, that would be just grand.

Gone fishing

Emotional wellbeing

I was away at the weekend so I only just watched the second part of the Cyberman story - and I'm aware that the picture opposite is from a parallel universe to Saturday's episode.

It's all about emotion. Some people might say "can't live with them, can't live without them". Emotions make us human but when we see ourselves as we are our emotions can kill us. Without our emotions we're effectively dead anyway.

Should we control our emotions? There are times to do so, but inhibition is not an option. We use our emotions. That can mean that they take over us from time to time - but never to the extent of damaging us. For our emotions give us hope.

My emotions make me stronger. If I feel then I can learn and grow. I can overcome. I will not be a robot.
Don't underestimate my strength and resilience. It lies not in discipline but in passion.

Much progress

A breakthrough was achieved when the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church .....

produced a joint statement saying that they could agree on the doctrine of justification.

Isn't this exciting!

What will they do next?

I'm waiting ...



I'm still waiting ....


Could be a while .....


Zzzzz .....




Perhaps the Catholic and Anglican churches can contribute?

No?

Oh well.

Let's rejoice in what ecumenical dialogue has achieved.

More irony

Why do you always get just what you want when you don't need it any more?

A few nuspeak slogans

Justice is Mercy.
Truth is Love.
Humility is Authority.
Anger is Passion.
Rebellion is Reflection.

with thanks to Donald.

A visit to Old Trafford

Prawn sandwiches in the directors' box. A thrilling history and an unbroken tradition of success. Memories of Best, Law, Busby. Champions' League Highlights. Playmaking skills of Rooney. Red wine. A day to remember. The Doc still to come.

I still appreciate The Blues. And then there's the Athletic.

New catalogue

If you think there is something wrong with these pictures from a catalogue (and particularly if you don't) then you need to go here to see which organisation I got them from and what they mean.

Here is some text from the same source:

Welcome to Teleshop
where trading in arms is as easy as saying ‘load, aim and fire’.

Whether you’re a small time crook, a military dictator, a guerrilla fighter or a drug baron, Teleshop has the weapon for you. Of course there are laws to stop this sort of thing. But frankly they’re so riddled with loopholes that any arms broker worth their salt can find a way through them.

Unfortunately we’re unable to deliver to the UK without the necessary government permits - but we’re an ideal service for ‘friends’ and ‘families’ living abroad, Most other international destinations are catered for and as an experienced arms broker we’re used to finding our way round most bureaucratic obstacles.

So have a browse and place your order because taking up arms under the current international controls really can be as easy as that.

9mm Pistol
Hand guns are all the rage right now. On the streets of Brazil they’ve claimed over 265,000 hves in the last decade alone. The real beauty of these powerful semi-automatic pistols is that they can fire many rounds in rapid succession. So they’re making a real impact out there on the streets.

Rocket-Propelled Feeling adventurous?
Then why stick to guns? The RPG is a Grenade Launcher shoulder-fired, muzzle-loaded, antitank grenade launcher that can penetrate up to 330mm of standard armour. Just the thing for attacking villages of unarmed civilians.

AK-47
One of the most successful and devastating weapons of all time — and also one of the most popular- Capable of firing 10 bullets every second, there really is no telling how many lives this famous weapon has claimed. Thanks to its light weight and ease of operation even a child can quickly master its rudiments. No wonder the AK-47 is such a popular choice in countries like Liberia and Angola where many of the child soldiers are as young as just eight years old

Apologies to Elvis

Well, since Lord Jesus saved me,
I found a new place to dwell.
Its down at the end of hopeful street
At heartsease hotel.

You make me so holy baby,
I get so holy, I get so holy I won't die.

And though it's always crowded,
You still can find some room.
Where broken hearted children
Are released from all their gloom.

Well, the bell hops love keeps flowin,
And the desk clerks don't wear black.
When you've been a while on hopeful street
You ain't never gonna look back.

Hey now, if your baby leaves you,
And you want a friend to tell.
Just come and walk down hopeful street
To heartsease hotel.

What is a bishop?

Since no-one else has done it, looks like it's down to me.

A bishop has pastoral care and oversight roles.
So that rules out the President and Connexional Secretary.

A bishop shows leadership and manages.
But a District Chair is subject to Synod.

A bishop is a figure in the community and nationally.
So is not a Superintendent.

Looks like we have no-one who fits the bill.

We'll have to do without for the time being. Unless the Holy Spirit can show us what we're missing.

Move along, now

1933. Conference decides OK to ordain women.
1948. Conference decides not OK to ordain women.
? Conference decides OK to ordain women.
1974. First women ordained by Methodist Church.

40 wasted years. Typical.

Talk about resistant to change. At least you can't say that we rushed into it.

At my teacher training College you got, as well as all the traditional well-known stuff, all the funky new ideas and were encouraged to try them about. Because you need encouragement - it's difficult enough to think of and try out new ideas in a new job even so, and next to impossible if you haven't been inspired. You just get ground down learning a new situation.

Where at Wesley are we given the funky new ideas to chew on? Who will pursue them in the church today if not the fresh new faces? Either that or you have to wait 25 years until the main job is so pat that you can finally begin to imagine new ways, even if it is only desperation. And some of us don't have 25 years.

We need a lead - and don't just tell us to "be creative" when those we are working with know what they like and want it the same. That's not encouraging and it certainly isn't easy.

If we only get shown the same old things then the same old things will be regurgitated. And more ministers and deacons will be produced who look and act just like the already existing ones. And the Church will die, and it will deserve to die.

Move along, please.
Move along, now.
NOW.

Race against time

OK I'm in a hurry, so today it's a pop quiz ...
How long should a service of worship be?

Time's up. Answer, please.

If you said an hour, you are probably a Methodist, or you could be.

If you said just under an hour, you are probably a Methodist who's put the dinner on.

If you said an hour and a quarter you are probably an Anglican who likes to take Communion.

If you said two hours, you are probably an evangelical.

If you said at least three hours you probably attend a black church.

If you said it depends on the sermon, shame on you.

If you said twenty minutes ......
either you are in a tearing hurry, slow down
or you are very enlightened
or you recognise that a service can be complete in that time ie you have been to Barrow Hospital to a service in which all elements are included and Communion received in that time scale.

So .... why are services so traditional? Do we spin things out from a sense of duty? Is it not worth going out unless you get your money's worth? Or what?

Other People's Churches

One of the joys and privileges of being a local (itinerant) preacher is worshipping in churches that you do not regularly attend. It is both a blessing and a cross, though.

I've just been to the service at Barrow Hospital (my second time) and will reflect on that in the future. Today's topic though is that, what with being away next weekend - diaconal exploration (another topic for the future, they are getting stacked up, please pray etc) - and my church not having an evening service, by the time the end of the month comes around it'll be a whole month since attending a "normal" service at my own church (tonight's discussion service should be fun but is not typical).

Blessings first. You do meet some interesting people, who, because they live in different locations, have a different view of life. It opens your eyes. You get a variety of styles of worship. You get intimate services and grand services. There is architecture and design.

But you quickly can lose touch with the folk in your own congregation. The notices sheet can't contain all the news - the small things, which are still important, pass you by. Who's had a good week, who's been away, who's going away. You feel disconnected. One of the pluses of not preaching lately (at least elsewhere) - discipline of theological college study - has been feeling a much closer part of the community. There's that word again, you see.

I wonder how Amos felt at being called away? Paul? Did he lose the feel of a "home" church? To quote Neil Diamond "LA's fine but it ain't home, New York's home but it ain't mine no more" - (Neil is always better at sad songs) put in your own placenames and see if you understand.

Did Philip talk to the eunuch because he was desperate for contact? Did Luke start writing to reconnect? Peter?

Perhaps I should have called this post "the loneliness of the long-distance preacher". It seems to have lost its way a bit itself. To be continued ....

Good growing weather

Second time in three days, a fabulously sunny day is followed in the evening (early evening in today's case) by a thunderstorm. No wonder non-natives of England can't understand us and how we have to be adaptable.

And the plants shoot up - I'll never get the grass cut at this rate. (OK so I should have done it three weeks away.) It's now into scythe territory.

We need both, and we need both together. Constant rain is too depressing, and constant sun leads to complacency. I'm talking about life now, you've guessed. Help me at the end of a busy week to respect and enjoy life's storms as well as the lazy, hazy days.

Economics

These days money drives everything, or appears to. Perhaps it has always been so and we only see it more clearly, or cynically. Money is power.

Wouldn't it be nice if just one institution, the one not supposed to be bound by earthly values, could give a lead in a different direction?

We have to be realistic, without forgetting to be idealistic, for we cannot be powerless, which would be untrue to the Gospel. But we should be reluctant to descend into the pragmatic. If there isn't enough in the bucket, we should seek to fill it, not to drink less. Then we can give our resources away to those who need them most.

Pray for those who deal daily with these issues and those who make decisions.

Politics

Lord, give me the humility and understanding to hear people's opinions; the wisdom and sensitivity to discern the correct action to take; the strength and courage to implement it; and the grace to peform it all in such a way as to reduce to a minimum the hurt to those who will be wounded.

And may it all be done in the power and authority of the Holy Spirit.

May others who also have to take tough decisions also find themselves able to pray this prayer.

Philosophy

When a tree falls in the middle of the forest with no-one around, can you be sure it makes a noise?

When the fridge door is closed, can you be sure the light goes off?

When you can't think of anything to say, can you be sure that God still hears you?

A moving experience

So we got the last of the stuff (apart from a bit of rubbish left over - sorry) out of my mum's old house and brought it 250 miles to be put into store and eventually looked through and sorted/kept/junked/given away as appropriate. Don't hold your breath.

Which means that I will no longer go back to the house where I was brought up and which was my home for what still equates to half my life.

I thought I'd feel a bit more emotional about this significant moment; it hasn't been home for 15+ years but it's still a bit of a wrench - but not too bad. I thought about a picture, but not early enough to do it or bad enough to regret not doing it.

So maybe I kind of understand a little better the attachment people get to buildings - and I'm clearly thinking churches, of course. But maybe I still don't.

People move house all the time (well some people anyway - me I try to keep it to a minimum due to the stress and time involved) with little apparent regret. So why are churches so significant? Is it a symbol of stability in a changing world? I think it's the folk who don't have to look after them who get upset - those who do realise the need for change, as most people do with their own houses (redecorate, conservatory, water feature etc) Life moves on, surely? Perhaps it's guilt, like when someone dies and you hadn't visited them - change to an old building, or knocking it down, becomes a sort of death. I wonder if there are other meanings.

This is the Sunday that the Lord has made

The preacher on Wednesday preached on Sunday. Perhaps he's been reading Kierkegaard too. Anyway, I understand the bit about special Sunday and special Sundays I think. But if he spoke about special Wednesday I missed it. And I think I missed the link to the question at the end too, but that's possibly another story. Or it might be the vital bit.

Paradox time again. The more special Wednesday is, the less special Sunday is. But all the days are special and must have prizes as Carroll might have said (?) Is that right? There are too many for us and they are too close. And then there may be special times ... let's not complicate.

Why is it a problem? Because we can get too focussed. Reserve one day and all the rest are free - but the one day becomes so special that you may choose to use it for other purposes. Kind of an opposite to Catch-22 - all the rules work in your favour! Let us rejoice and be glad.

Searching

Communication

We have a brand new answer phone. It has been really hard since the last one gave up the ghost. Did anyone phone? Have we missed anything important? (Particularly when you have always told folk "oh yes phone any time, leave a message we'll get it" etc.)

Of course no-one has left a message yet! Maybe while we didn't have one, they all gave up on us - but then we never got very many anyway; but enough and important enough so that I used to think that it was one of the most important bits of kit in the house, ahead of the telly, ahead of the CD player, way ahead of the Dyson (obviously) and rivalling the computer.

But it's nice to get the person you want without having to leave a message and waiting anxiously for the reply. And although you can have conversations by email, and I do, thay are not as instant.

Thank you Lord for always being available, not on the other line, or busy, or out. Thank you that I don't get placed in a queue and have to select the correct option. Thank you that you contact me without me having to take the initiative; for often I am lazy or fearful. Thank you that if I am out, you will keep trying and not just leave a message and wait for me to "get back to you".

Catch-22

Most people confuse this with a no-win situation. I seem to have reverse-engineered one however. Ironically the use of irony has created an unbelievable situation. This is a metaphor.

Neo-Methodism

The words are too easily given away and they lose their value. So we have invented a new set of words. But you need to join to find out what they are. This will involve some commitment. The words cannot be published in a public area. You will need to learn the password.

Are you committed enough to do this? How far dare you go?

How will you know when you have the experience to join? You will be given the new words. These will bring you closer. The journey will continue. It will get deeper. How many layers are there? Who knows? Perhaps it will be exciting to find out.

Who can help you? That too, sadly, cannot be published here.

Tutorial

Where is God?

Why do we drink?

To remember or to forget? Gary knows.

Quiet Time?

What's the point of dialogue?

Edit: On reflection, the question I intended to ask is what is the purpose of dialogue?

Possibly other similar questions can and should be asked also.

Free wheelin'

How many sums must a girl get right Before she enters the world?
Yes, 'n' how many prayers must a preacher create Before she's not just a girl?
Yes, 'n' how many times are the magic words said Before they can be overturned?

The answer, my friend, is written in the rules.

How many times must a split come about Before we can see what is real?
Yes, 'n' how many cries must all of us hear Before we suddenly feel?
Yes, 'n' what dreams must be shared so that we all know That now is the time to heal?

The answer, my friend, is missing and not found.

How many years does a building exist Before it's needed no more?
Yes, 'n' how many ways can expression go on When we're seeking to answer the call?
Yes, 'n' what is the core of our living today, And how do we get through the door?

The answer, my friend, is too deep for me. But maybe someone can say.

With apologies to Bob.